Can I tell you a secret? Come closer. Even closer. OK, ready? I like Dorit Kemsley. Actually, no. I love Dorit.
Since joining The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills last season, Dorit has become one of the most polarizing Housewives among all of Bravo's current shows in the franchise. And to be honest, I wasn't that into her at first. I didn't get her accent (She sounds British...but she's from Connecticut?!), her husband PK Kemsley was a little too thirsty for his own diamond, and her only real friend seemed to be Boy George, her husband's favorite (and only? Discuss in the comments!) client.
But then something happened. Something shifted. Something changed. Maybe she changed? Maybe I changed? Who's to say...but this season, I fell in love with Dorit, who is now my favorite 90210-residing lady*. At first, I was ashamed to reveal my new feelings for Dorit to my fellow Bravo-loving friends, weakly defending her or cautiously praising one of her looks in our daily group chat. But after attending a recent taping of Watch What Happens Live, I'm no longer afraid: This is me and I love Dorit!
See, when I attended WWHL's Los Angeles taping with all of the RHOBH ladies on Apr. 10, I was shocked, hurt and dismayed to see that my fellow audience members were less than kind to my new obsession. How dare they not laugh at everything Dorit said?! And why was no one fully appreciating her stunning-yet-subtle sequined blazer?! How was I the only person seemingly aware of Dorit's awesomeness?! I can only assume this is what the only sober person at Coachella must feel like.
But I get it, some things take time—just look at my love affair with the Beverly Beach (R.I.P. Nava!) swimwear designer. To help guide you on the path to enlightenment, here are all the reasons why Dorit is the true unsung hero of Beverly Hills:
Is there any greater thrill than the moment just before Dorit enters a scene, where you are trying (and failing) to predict what hairstyle she'll be sporting this time. Long? Short? Crimped? Gold foil? Hundreds of bobby pins? Like Ellie Goudling once sang, anything can happen!
Maybe she wasn't born with it, but we love it, dahling.
Sure, Erika Jayne is rightfully credited with inspiring the women of RHOBH (and in all the other cities, TBH) to raise their fashion game, thanks to her meticulously planned and over-the-top outfits. But more than any other Housewife, Dorit has risen to the occasion, consistently bringing her sartorial A-game, whether it's a daytime lunch or theme party. We acknowledge and appreciate her tireless effort.
We triple dog dare you to try to imagine these last two seasons if Dorit wasn't introduced. We'd have LVP's dog rescue efforts, Lisa Rinna's infomercials and model daughters trying to become the next Gigi and Bella, and Kyle Richards forever-looking at new houses. While all respectable, not a dramatic reality TV show do they make. Pantygate? Dorit's doing. Lisa Rinna's pill-popping? Dorit's doing. LVP and Kyle Richard's fractured friendship this season? Dorit's doing. You're welcome.
She Flaunts It
Listen, if you spent $18,000 on Hermes plates, wouldn't you mention that you spent $18,000 on Hermes plates? Did she need to charter a helicopter to drop her and PK off on a yacht during his birthday party? Probably not! But this why we watch RHOBH, people. All excess. No moderation. Dorit gives the
peasants people what they want.
She's a Good Mom
OK, we kind of can't remember her daughter's name at the moment (Oops!), but if you didn't cry when you learned Jagger had finally started speaking than you are as cold as Erika was to Eileen Davidson on that boat ride from hell in Kong Kong last season.
She Can't Hold Her Liquor
What we wouldn't give to see the rest of that footage from Kyle's disaster of a dinner party, you know, the one where a drunk Dorit, out of nowhere, called Camille Grammer a "c—t"?
She's a Conversation Starter
Mention Dorit's name in front of any Bravo fan and they will either say they love or or they hate her, and that's a good thing. Because if there's one thing a Housewife shouldn't be, it's boring.
She's Owns Her Role
Dorit is more than OK with being the one to call you out for not using the right glassware at a dinner party. And don't ever expect her to apologize for her behavior...like that time she was over an hour late to meet Teddi Mellencamp Arroyave, but later refused to admit how late she was (despite Bravo providing the receipts via time-stamps). She just operates on Dorit Standard Time, so deal adjust your clocks and deal with it.
*I fully reserve the right to change my opinion about Dorit by the end of the reunion. All's fair in love and Housewives, people.
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills airs Tuesdays at 9 p.m. on Bravo.
(E! and Bravo are both part of the NBCUniversal family.)