Luann de Lesseps didn't want the Real Housewives of New York City season nine reunion special to be about Tom D'Agostino. But as the saying goes, it's about Tom.
During part one of the three-part special, after host Andy Cohen took Ramona Singer to task for her erratic behavior all season long and grilled Sonja Morgan over her touchy relationship with Dorinda Medley, talk turned, as it so often does when these women all get together, to the onetime, but now former, Mrs. D'Agostino's doomed marriage to the man everyone warned her about.
And while it's easy to bask in the schadenfreude while watching poor Lu twist herself into a pretzel as she tried to excuse any and all of Tom's bad behavior, knowing that she'd file for divorce only a few short weeks after sitting down to tape the reunion, we couldn't help but feel terrible for her. This isn't going to be an easy watch for the erstwhile Countess.
First, there was the initial, rose-colored glasses description of married life: "It's fantastic. I love being married. I love the life that goes with it. I love having a partner in crime, and I love Tom. He's a good guy."
Then came the moment when Andy brought up last year's reunion, where Ramona seemed to imply she was aware of further indiscretions on Tom's part, but chose to keep quiet. "Yeah, I did," she told Andy when asked if she knew more than she let on. "When Tom was at the Regency, the reason he was at the Regency kissing another girl was he had a huge fight with you and was pissed at you. Then he went to L.A. and started kissing that girl again…And he laughed and said you deserved it."
And she didn't stop there. "He met a woman from Philadelphia who was recently divorced at the Regency bar and he went up to the hotel room with her and he said he had an open relationship with you," she revealed. "But nothing happened."
Then came Tom's infamous "de-mic" moment with his ex Missy from the season finale. Turns out Lu had only gotten to see that episode the night before taping. "I have no idea," she admitted when asked what he said free from prying microphones. "I didn't see it until last night. Now I'm going to ask him because I haven't had the chance."
Up next? Her defense of the "dog with a leash" "joke" Tom made in regards to his wedding ring. "I always look like the tough guy. I try to look at it he's trying to be funny and he doesn't realize it's going to look weird," she said. "He shouldn't say things like that, obviously."
Then came the depressing admission that not everyone in her family welcomed Tom with open arms. "That's been tough, especially on Noel, my son," she revealed. "It was hard for him to accept him in the beginning because of what happened. Of course, he's my son. He's very protective of me."
And then, in the face of everyone echoing Ramona's suggestion that she "ban the Regency," came this tepid response: "It's either I accept him for the way he is—I'm not going to change him at this point."
Had she demanded he stop frequenting bars known to get him into trouble, the others wondered? "I have suggested," she said. Oof.
While the Tom train will chug along into part two next week, it wasn't all D'Agostino doom and gloom this week. Read on for our favorite one-liners.
Best Bites
- "You're in a good place. I have no face." - Bethenny Frankel, mocking Ramona's mushy Mexican chat with Sonja while recovering from her major facial laser treatment
- "No, I mean, I think a monkey has the same opinion." - Bethenny, on whether she found it ironic that she and Jill Zarin shared the same opinion about Ramona's mental state
- "Someone said it at CitiBank to me the other day, one of the tellers." - Dorinda on her legendary "CLIP!" moment
- "I did trash her, but by the time she saw me, she was pissed and I had moved on." - Sonja, not understanding how feelings work
- "No. But like at what point--how many decades into this do I have to not answer this question? What do I have to fucking do? Do I have to Dorinda's house apart, wear her fucking underwear? What do I have to do not hear this question that you ask me every Watch What Happens Live, every reunion, birthday, Hannukah. You ask me all the live long day, OK? Like, enough." - Bethenny, shutting down Andy's latest inquiry into whether she would ever reconcile with Jill
What did you think of Luann's Tom defense, especially now that they're divorced? Sound off in the comments below!
The Real Housewives of New York City's reunion special continues Wednesday, Aug. 23 at a new time, 8 p.m., only on Bravo.
(E! and Bravo are both part of the NBCUniversal family.)