All Hail the The Magicians & the Best Dirty Dancing Tribute Fillory Has Ever Seen

Long live High King Eliot and his perfect Patrick Swayze impression.

By Lauren Piester Jan 26, 2017 3:00 AMTags
Watch: "The Magicians" New King & Queen Get Their Crowns

Royalty, bitches! 

The Magicians is finally back, and with it comes a whole new administration in the not-so-imaginary world of Fillory. 

Eliot (Hale Appleman), Margo (Summer Bishil), Quentin (Jason Ralph), and Alice (Olivia Taylor Dudley) have all been officially crowned as the kings and queens of the fantasy world that turned out to not only be real but also the source of all magic, and it's all thanks to their collective knowledge of '90s pop culture trivia. 

Yes, you read that right. Since Fillory can only be ruled by someone from Earth, its rulers must pass a series of questions in order to get the Knight of Crowns to hand the headpieces over. Naturally, those questions are about American music and TV shows from the 1990s.

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Fed up with q's about TV shows starring Tim Daly (Wings) and songs by famous offspring ("Hold On" by Wilson Phillips), High King Eliot knew there was really only one way to win it all: with a Patrick Swayze impression.

Sure, he didn't end his "I always do the last dance of the season" speech with the lift (you know the one), but he won the crowns, and what followed was a truly beautiful coronation ceremony, filled with apologies and kind words. It was a lovely bit of peace and happiness in the midst of the insanity that followed their attempt to kill the Beast/Martin Chatwin, which ended in nearly everyone dying for a second. 

Obviously, they didn't stay dead. Alice was thankfully still under the influence of god juice and was able to revive Margo, Eliot, and Penny, and they all tracked down Quentin, who had sought help from a witch in a candy house (and gave her a vial of his blood, which will surely not be forgotten).

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Since their beast-killing knife had been stolen and all their plans changed by Julia (Stella Maeve), the gang needed a new plan for defeating the Beast. To learn battle magic, they'd need books, and to get the books they needed to get into the castle, and to be taken to the castle, they needed their crowns, which leads us all the way back to Patrick Swayze.

Unfortunately, the books were missing from the castle's armory, so now they need another new plan, and it involves going back to Brakebills...without Eliot, who's stuck in his castle with his wife (who he may or may not like). 


Speaking of Julia, she and the Beast ended up back on Earth, and Julia made a deal with him. He was going to help her get rid of Reynard (the trickster god who raped her and killed all of her friends), and in return, he would get control of the knife. 

So now, they're hunting down reports of god-like massacres and hoping to catch themselves a trickster, but something tells us all is not going to go as planned. 

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And finally, poor Penny. Not even Alice's god powers were able to restore his hands after the Beast magically chopped them off, so he made his way to a magical stream that was supposed to fully put him back together. Unfortunately, he was an asshole to the keeper of the river, so now his hands are cursed. It's a somewhat hilarious curse, but not a very convenient curse when magic spells require precise control of your hands. 

So hopefully he'll either figure it out, or he'll provide us a whole new kind of comic relief this season. 

The Magicians airs Wednesdays at 9 p.m. on Syfy.

(E! and Syfy are both members of the NBC Universal family.)