Once upon a midnight dreary, as we pondered weak and weary, we realized that 2016 was a year rife with goodbyes.
It's been a hard year for all, not the least of which was anything in pop culture. So many of our favorite trends and couples and works of art did like the ghosts, goblins, vampires and Thackery Binxes of yore and...died.
Yes, now it is time to say the long goodbye as they head for the long nap. We shall think of them every year on All Hallows Eve, as the Druids and the Celts and their ilk come out to celebrate this dark holy Holiday. As the toils trouble and the fires burn and the cauldrons bubble, we will pay homage to the pop culture milestones of years' past.
Here Lies American Idol
She was a good reality competition show. The original, in fact. The reality competition show to start all reality competition shows. We promise that every time we watch America's Got Talent, we'll think, they stole that from American Idol.
Here Lies Tom Hiddleston's James Bond Chances
This potential lived as it died: Quickly, and while wearing a really embarrassing T-shirt.
Here Lies Brangelina
Nothing lasts forever, but did the life of Brangelina have to be so short? Celeb-watchers only have so many love stories with which to follow, and the number just got a lot fewer.
Here Lies Headphone Jacks
We know not what to do without thee, headphone jacks. Buy new headphones? Not lose an adapter? Certainly not.
Here Lies One Direction
A world without the biggest boy band of the 21st century is not a world that most people want to live in. For our part, we seem to be doing all right.
Here Lies BlackBerry
Rest in peace, clicky QWERTY keyboard. Rest in peace, BBM. Rest in peace, little roll ball.
Here Lies Downton Abbey
Double double toil and trouble, network television burn now that the Crawley Family is gone from our lives.
Here Lies Ryan Lochte's Credibility
Today we must mourn this short life, one whose flame was snuffed out far too soon with but a little bit of Cachaça and a whole lot of pride.
Here Lies Harry Styles' Hair
Sure, he's not bald, but he may as well be. This is for all the girls out there with alters to his long-gone locks.
Here Lies ABC Family
"Freeform?" If you say so.