Kid Cudi Checks Into Rehab for Anxiety, Depression and ''Suicidal Urges''

"I am not at peace. I haven't been since you've known me. If I didn't come here, I would've done something to myself," the rapper writes

By Bruna Nessif Oct 05, 2016 2:51 AMTags
Kid CudiRoy Rochlin/FilmMagic

Hip-hop artist Kid Cudi, real name Scott Mescudi, has revealed that he's checked into rehab for "depression and suicidal urges."

The Cleveland native made the shocking announcement to fans on his Facebook page, writing, "It's been difficult for me to find the words to what I'm about to share with you because I feel ashamed. Ashamed to be a leader and hero to so many while admitting I've been living a lie. It took me a while to get to this place of commitment, but it is something I have to do for myself, my family, my best friend/daughter and all of you, my fans. Yesterday I checked myself into rehab for depression and suicidal urges."

Celebrity Rehabbers

Cudi continued, "I am not at peace. I haven't been since you've known me. If I didn't come here, I would've done something to myself. I simply am a damaged human swimming in a pool of emotions everyday of my life. Theres a ragin violent storm inside of my heart at all times. Idk what peace feels like. Idk how to relax. My anxiety and depression have ruled my life for as long as I can remember and I never leave the house because of it.

"I can't make new friends because of it. I don't trust anyone because of it and I'm tired of being held back in my life. I deserve to have peace. I deserve to be happy and smiling. Why not me? I guess I give so much of myself to others I forgot that I need to show myself some love too. I think I never really knew how. I'm scared, I'm sad, I feel like I let a lot of people down and again, I'm sorry. Its time I fix me. I'm nervous but Ima get through this."

He concludes, "I won't be around to promote much, but the good folks at Republic and my manager Dennis will inform you about upcoming releases. The music videos, album release date etc. The album is still on the way. Promise. I wanted to square away all the business before I got here so I could focus on my recovery. If all goes well ill be out in time for Complexcon and I'll be lookin forward to seeing you all there for high fives and hugs. Love and light to everyone who has love for me and I am sorry if I let anyone down. I really am sorry. Ill be back, stronger, better. Reborn. I feel like s--t, I feel so ashamed. I'm sorry."

As noted, Kid Cudi was scheduled to co-headline the highly anticipated Long Beach, Calif., festival Complexcon on Nov. 5 and 6, alongside Skrillex, Travis Scott and Virgil Abloh. He was also slated to release his new album, Passion, Pain & Demon Slayin' last week, but took to Twitter to explain that it had been pushed back due to sample clearance issues. "Due to some minor sample clearances being finalized, we miss our deadline for tonight," he wrote. "HOWEVER, you will be able to purchase ‘FREQUENCY' and ‘SURFIN' within the next 48hrs for your groovy pleasure to hold you over." 

Cudi's rehab revelation also comes shortly after a surprising sound-off against Kanye West and Drake, two artists he's worked with closely, however this hip-hop beef simmered down fairly quickly.

Following a contentious back-and-forth over accusations that West and Drizzy use ghost writers for their rhymes, any bad blood between the two was put to rest during West's Houston tour stop on Tuesday evening. While onstage, the 39-year-old father of two paused to give the "Pursuit of Happiness" performer a special shout out. 

West declared Cudi, "the most influential artist of the past 10 years," later adding, "I just wanted to take this time out to say Kid Cudi is my brother and I hope he's doing well."

The rappers have both featured each other on their past hit tracks, including "Erase Me," "All of the Lights," and most recently on The Life of Pablo's "Father Stretch My Hands." West signed Cudi to his GOOD Music label in 2008. 

If you or someone you know needs help, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).