Caitlyn Jenner opened up to Bill Simmons on Any Given Wednesday, saying she contemplated suicide at one point during her transition. After having an operation on her Adam's apple, a part of her body she "always hated," a paparazzo shot Jenner as she was leaving her doctor's office. "I could not sleep that night. I'm up at 3 a.m. walking up and down my hallway, thinking, 'Damn, all this s--t is going to come out tomorrow and it's going to be horrible," she said. "And I said, 'You know what? Easy way. Go in the other room. You got a gun. Let's just end it right here.'"
Jenner, who has shared the story before with her family, fans and friends, added, "That's, like, the easy way out. No more pain, no more nothing. I don't have to deal with the tabloids any longer. I don't have to deal with any of this. And that was probably the lowest I've ever gotten."
The next morning, Jenner went for a walk by herself. "Wasn't that, like, the stupidest thing you've ever done?" the star of E!'s I Am Cait recalled thinking at the time. "I thought, 'What a terrible way to end your life's story!' I don't want my story to end that way, on a negative note."
"That was the beginning of me turning my thinking around to say, 'OK, I think I can do this.'"