Pokemon GoToday's unpopular opinion is brought to you by me, E! Writer @domxjoelle, and I am fully prepared to face the backlash. I am hoping there are a few more aliens out there who feel the same way I do but are too afraid to come forward during this time of pure Poke chaos.
Despite the current sentiments of everyone, everywhere, ever, I would sooner coat my eyeballs with the insides of a melted Gusher than continue reading about "Pokemon Go." It should be noted that these powerful feelings are coming from someone who hasn't even played the game, because, at this point, I don't even think I need to. In just days I've learned the ins, outs, risks and joys that are "Pokemon Go." I also know the game doubles a search tool for finding dead bodies, is a trap for getting robbed, and a dating app for finding love. All of those sound like very lovely things (sans the robbery) and I am not here to judge anyone who loves the game. That is not what this is about.
In my entire career as a writer for E!, (and as a writer in general) nothing has sucked more from my soul than having to keep up with "Pokemon Go" for a week straight. I love my job, don't get me wrong, and I will never grow tired of the stories I write, even if they are of Poke nature. It's just that when I go home, I want to get in my bed, open up the Internets and not see 38,000 screengrabs of the Squirtle you caught on your boyfriend's butt. Same goes for that fugly-ass Rattata you jumped in front of a moving subway to save. Come on people. To my knowledge, none of those stories are real but seriously at this point they very well could be.
Of course, many people have benefited from the game on deeper levels (scoring dates, meeting friends and curing social anxiety), and I really respect that. But for those of us who don't plan on partaking in the game for whatever reason, we need to find some peace. If I simply blocked, or unfollowed all of my Poke-tranced friends, the only account I'd have left to look at would probably be Taco Bell. And to be honest, it's probably only a matter of time before they roll out a Poke Ball Crunch Burrito. What can those who suffer from Pokemon Go-verload do to save our sanity?
Behold the only Google Chrome extension you need in your life. In case you aren't familiar with Chrome extensions, they're nifty little hacks that basically tailor your Internet experience to your liking. Previous hacks included extensions that blocked Game of Thrones spoilers and even Donald Trump content, Uproxx also notes. This extension is called "PokeGone," and sports the touching slogan, "Gotta block 'em all." Zing.
The extension says, "Sick and tired of hearing about Pokemon? PokeGone will take care of that! This extension will stop your eyes from seeing grown adults raving on about Pokemon - simple as. Remove all traces of Pokemon from the Internet with one simple extension!" For some, our days are going to get a lot brighter once we fix ourselves up with this hack. To the rest of you, keep doing you, and one day, when the smoke from the Poke Balls has settled, maybe we can all be friends again.
Jennifer Garner reveals her guilty pleasure app and we're willing to bet it's NOT Pokemon Go.