You never know what Dax Shepard is going to say on TV.
Two months after he revealed on Jimmy Kimmel Live! that he got a vasectomy without first discussing it with his wife, Kristen Bell, the writer, director, producer and star of the upcoming CHiPS movie appeared on Conan Tuesday and fawned over Conan O'Brien's physique. "I'm well documented: I love men's bodies—as I love women's bodies! I just love the human form. So, I happened to notice when we were eating dinner, I was like, 'Your chest is really protruding.' And what's great about noticing men's bodies is you can immediately touch. I was like, 'Man, are you working out?' And then I was feeling your biceps and your triceps. I was like, 'Nice delts,'" the actor recalled. "I see hot women all the time. I can't manhandle them. But as soon as I noticed you had been pumping iron, I got in there and I felt everything I wanted to feel."
"He truly did," Conan confirmed. "I was like a puppet, suddenly."
"I spent 30 seconds, probably, feeling you. And it's normal! Everyone else was fine with it," Dax said. "I wanted to see what was happening with your wife, but I didn't, because you don't do that!" Conan jokingly said, "We agreed we were going to leave her out of it and stick my body."
Then, Dax realized something. "You didn't feel Kristen, either," he said. Conan, who married Liza Powel in 2002, responded, "I also didn't reach over and feel you, because I didn't want to."
"If you want to set up a swinger thing," Andy Richter said, "you should probably do it by e-mail."
"Yeah, you don't bring it up here on the show," Conan said with a laugh.
"I don't know. I think that's kind of a great way to break the ice. Because it could be a joke!" Dax said. "It's a comedy show! 'Remember that time I said I wanted to get you and our wives together on that comedy program of yours? I was just teasing, unless you think that's a good idea.'"
Later in the show, Amber Rose joined the trio on the couch to discuss her sex-positive, self-titled VH1 show. Dax seized the opportunity to ask her about hooking up with Conan and Liza. "We're thinking about having an orgy, Conan and I and our wives. I've got a hotel on retainer, so I was just wondering, would you advise this for us?" he asked. "We're both happily married."
Rather than joke around, Amber gave them practical advice. "I would say [yes] if everyone is comfortable with the situation," she said, adding, "Always use a new condom for each woman."
"I don't want to wear a condom," Dax said. "That's why I got married, right?"
"You're not married to his wife," Amber reminded him.
"Yet," Dax joked.
After Conan contained his laughs, he asked Dax if he'd "brought any of this past Kristen."
"I think she feels comfortable with it," Dax said. "Just guessing."
Conan joked, "Sound like a big 'no' to me!"