Joey Fatone, Kentucky Derby 2016

Frazer Harrison/Getty Images for Churchill Downs

This is the most important news you'll hear all day. Joey Fatone is opening a hot dog stand in a mall proving that beautiful things do still happen in today's sometimes scary world. Those residing in Florida (birthplace of Joey's new fast food joint) should be feeling about as blessed as a baptized baby. Brilliantly named Fat Ones (please clap), the hot dog and Italian ice palace will open at The Florida Mall in Orlando in August of this year. Who do we call to make this date an internationally celebrated holiday?

According to the 'N Syncer's Twitter, the restaurant is "Home of the Fat One," and we don't know if it's possible to be on a higher plane of joy. The Florida Mall's website says fans can expect "100% Angus beef dogs that you can enjoy pressed in a variety of styles from the Reuben to the Gone Hollywood to the Boybander (5 mini hot dogs)." 

While we can only hope this gem becomes the new Panda Express, we have a few questions. First of all, when did Mr. Fatone become the LITERAL KING OF COMEDY? Five mini hot dogs called the Boybander? Discovering that your last name makes the perfect name for a stop in the food court!? We're floored. FLOORED.

Perhaps the biggest question we have is why hot dogs? The Florida Mall website is back at it with the closest thing we could find to an answer. "After hosting popular cooking shows including the Food Network's Rewrapped, and The Live Well Network's My Family Recipe Rocks, Fatone has made his mark as a foodie. Now, he's bringing his own culinary vision to life with FAT ONES Hot Dogs and Italian Ice." In our humble and skinny-fat opinion, this is the best "culinary vision" since McDonald's poured a bunch of soda on some ice cream and called it a McFloat. #TeamFatOnes

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