BravoWhat. Was. That?!
The last ten minutes or so of tonight's episode of The Real Housewives of New York City were so truly insane that we aren't really even sure what we just witnessed. There is so much to unpack from that sustained lunacy that we need to really just dive right in and see if we can decipher what went down between Dorinda Medley, Ramona Singer, and John Mahdessian on the street of NYC.
Things were going so well at Dorinda and John's party they were throwing for some designer who uses John's dry cleaning business or something. Dorinda looked lovely in the dress custom made for her, John pointed out a stain on Dorinda's dress TO THE ENTIRE PARTY via microphone, and Jules Wainstein was there, simply existing. Everything was par for the course. And then Ramona and Luann de Lesseps arrived.
Now, there are two things of note here. One: Ramona, Luann, and Sonja Morgan were all drinking together prior to arriving at the party. And two: According to Dorinda, Ramona wasn't even invited. OK, let's proceed.
Immediately after entering, Ramona began remarking to anyone who would listen that she didn't like the vibe in the room, which should have been clue enough that things were about to sour right quick. Soon after, Luann noticed a man who she'd ghosted the summer before named Rey. Off camera, the two had one of the strangest conversations we've ever had the pleasure reading the subtitles of. Right off the bat, Luann asked if he was high. (Not a good sign.) He proceeded to tell her he was shaking down to his socks at the sight of her and that he loved her. It was, in a word, bizarre.
Like any rational person, Luann fled the scene, leaving Ramona and Sonja to deal with good ol' Rey, who introduced himself to the Singer Stinger by saying, "Hello, good evening. I have a charity. I have a charity that helps poor people." When all Ramona Singer can muster in reply is "OK, that's good," you know stuff is getting weird.
Apparently part of Luann and Rey's whirlwind romance involved an ill-fated trip to Ibiza that Rey was surprised they even knew about as he spat an inch from Sonja's face, "Yeah, it was Ibiza! How does she know? How do you know, you bitch?"
Sadly, Rey never got the full story over how the women knew—after wasting all of his politeness and everything—because John had had enough and wanted the creep to leave. Unfortunately, we couldn't breathe a sigh of sweet relief just yet because Ramona (who was maybe just a little lit up herself) decided to take a stand for the drunken creep she barely knew all to stick it to her apparent bitter enemy John—just days after promising Dorinda she'd be nice to him. Oh, Ramona.
As Dorinda warned her friend that Rey wasn't the sort of guy to take up for, John made the mistake of putting his hand in Ramona's face and insisting she leave too. "I never want to be in your presence again," Ramona screamed as the fight spilled out onto the street. Dorinda screamed at Ramona, Ramona screamed at John, John screamed at Ramona, they all screamed at Rey to fade away into the night. It was truly one for the ages.
It was a truly bizarre, ugly sight and, sadly, it probably won't be the last time these three come to blows this season. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Of course, that wasn't the only gasp-worthy moment of the night. No, we'd be remiss if we didn't discuss that truly uncomfortable sit-down between Sonja and Bethenny Frankel. As everyone but Sonja anticipated, Queen B was beside herself after reading about Tipsy Girl in Page Six. So, she read Sonja the riot act at the SkinnyGirl offices, in front of her entire staff.
"Here's the situation. The situation is the following: You've asked me before for business advice and I told you. I am actually just personally hurt. I don't care, you can't affect my business at all. It doesn't matter," she told a stunned Sonja. "I'm gonna finish talking and then you can say what you're gonna say. I put my neck out for you, brought you into my world, into my brand summit. I'm completely insulted and I don't want anything to do with you."
Sonja tried to offer up a laundry list of excuses: She thought the similar name was a fluke (huh?!), she wants to follow in B's footsteps because she admires her, she's coming out of Chapter 11 and just wants to get back what she had. She simultaneously tries to impress Bethanny with the great work she's doing and tries to play down her involvement in signing on to what Bethenny's accurately refers to as a "cheater brand," but B's wasn't having it.
In the end, she simply walked into another room of her office, leaving Sonja to stammer a goodbye to Bethenny's staff as she headed to the elevator, muttering, "Not what I was expecting." It was a brutal moment, but it ultimately had no effect on Sonja because as the elevator doors began to close, she said to no one in particular, "Does that mean I can't do pocketbooks because Luann's doing pocketbooks?" Oof.
What did you think about tonight's two huge blowouts? Sound off in the comments below.
The Real Housewives of New York City airs Wednesdays at 9 p.m. on Bravo.