Michelle Rodriguez, like many of her Fast & Furious co-stars, was devastated when Paul Walker passed away, but the actress now confesses that her sadness over his death was more so fueled by jealousy.
In a clip from the controversial documentary The Reality of Truth (produced by Adam Singer), the actress sits down to discuss her recent experience under the influence of a psychedelic plant called Ayahuasca, and how that awakened her realization of how she was coping with Walker's death.
"I have to say, you know, when I lost Paul, I went through about a year of just being an animal," she admits.
"Like, what could I do, physically, to just get my mind off of existentialism? Get my mind off of how transient life is and how we come here and can just disappear at any moment. How could I get my mind off that?"
Rodriguez continued to confess that she went a bit "crazy" over the summer, and revealed the root of her sadness with Walker's passing.
"I did everything I could possibly do to hide from myself and I'll tell you that my Ayahuasca trip made me sad that he left me here," she said. "It wasn't a sadness that he's gone, it's more like a jealousy that he's there first."
The Reality of Truth, directed by Mike Zapolin and Lauren Levy, features Rodriguez, Zapolin, and others, guided by Deepak Chopra, exploring everything from meditation to plants on their international quest to transcend the boundaries of the human mind.
In the doc, Rodriguez is shown using the plant Ayanhuasca in Peru and saying, "It brought the destruction of everything I've ever known...I had an awakening."
Ayahuasca is a brew used as a traditional spiritual medicine in ceremonies among the Indigenous peoples of Amazonian Peru, many of whom say that they received the instructions in its use directly from the plants and plant spirits themselves.
The Reality of Truth describes itself as a "controversial film exploring a psychenauts journey inside the mind to find the truth. The truth is here, and it's waiting for you."