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I Am Cait Blog: Candis Cayne on the ''Obstacles'' of Dating as a Trans Woman

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By Candis Cayne Mar 21, 2016 5:57 PMTags
Candis CayneAmanda Edwards/FilmMagic

Sometimes it feels like you can search the earth and you still won't find someone right for you. In this episode, I pretty much proved that point…literally "searched the earth" in a bus (lol). We finally left the politics behind, but we moved on to the other major eye roll subject for me…dating. Ugh.

Dating is tricky for everyone, even if you are cis, but it gets even more complicated when you are trans. It adds a whole new set of obstacles when you're trying to get to know someone, but most of the time, the "getting to know someone" part never even happens for a trans girl. We saw this first hand in Santa Fe when I was stood up…AGAIN!!

Watch: Candis Cayne Plays With Puppies to Cheer Up

In my experience, most men are so afraid of being labeled something other than straight that they won't even go there—no matter how attracted to you they are. It takes a very strong man to hold up to societal pressures and unfortunately those men seem to be few and far between. I mean, don't get me wrong, there are plenty of men that date trans women, but not in the open and definitely not on camera!

Dating for me has always been like a tight rope, you have to stay on track, adapt to the path and don't make waves or else you will plummet. This episode really shines a light on what we go through as trans women. We always seem to find ourselves in situations of disbelief when it comes to men. I have stories from NYC that would gag you! (lol) I mean, I've had a few serious relationships and have been in love, I've even been proposed to, but nothing has ever really added up. But…I know love happens when you least expect it! So bring it on cupid!

Watch: "I Am Cait" Recap: Season 2, Episode 3