Much like everything else on television, friendship is not what it seems.
It was the harsh reality Steve Martin had to reveal to Stephen Colbert Tuesday night. Guess the 70-year-old just didn't want to lead the late-night host on any longer.
During a musical appearance on The Late Show, the fellow comedians got cozy in front of a forest-inspired backdrop to sing a song about friendship. However, when it came time to dedicate the song to their individual best friends, they just were not on the same page. While Colbert wholeheartedly declared his guest his very best friend, Martin was not so quick to return the favor.
"I'm sorry, Stephen. We're just not friends," Martin declared after strumming away on his banjo. "We've met like twice." Awkward!
The Father of the Bride star didn't exactly let Colbert down easily, either.
"TV friends isn't the same as being real friends," he explained. "I think of you as an acquaintance."
Colbert wasn't the only man in Martin's life to get the friendship axe. When the host started naming some of Steve's assumed pals—his Bride co-star Martin Short, SNL creator Lorne Michaels and even his wife Anne Springfield—Martin said it just was not as it seemed.
"I'd say 'acquaintance,'" he described his relationship with all of them.
When Colbert pointed to a signed photograph from Martin as a symbol of their friendly ties, Martin shattered his dreams again.
"Actual friends don't sign autographs for each other," he said. "That's why I'm going to get yours later."