Jennifer Aniston, GQ Cover

GQ, of course, just released the latest nudie (or quasi-nude) pictorial from Jennifer Aniston, who's truly cementing herself into a permanent, professional dumped woman. All of this look-at-me press—from her first Playboy-esque pics that appeared in the glossy pages of Vanity Fair in 2005—to being myriad H-town boys' playthings (Gerard Butler, John Mayer, Vince Vaughn, each for all the wrong reasons), just smacks of trying to outstrut the woman who took her husband, Angelina Jolie.

Guess what? Ain't gonna work.

'Cause as Jen's famously indiscreet ex has made plain, all Angie has to do is "wake up" and she's as doable as ever. Jennifer requires virtual teams of stylists, hairdo men, makeup magicians, lighting experts, cellulite hiders, boob wranglers, eyebrow doctors, the works.

Whatever happened to getting a damn good role like The Good Girl, Derailed, even, selling the crap out of it without taking your bra off—and showing up Angelina with a buzzworthy flick? But…since you did stoop to this obvious PR-stunt stuff, you totally blew it: Instead of all those GQ boy-toys you were shot with, why didn't you opt for some hot chicks, instead? That would have screwed Angie good, promise.

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