ABC/Rick RowellTonight marks season 20 (20!) of The Bachelor. That means you've watched awkward limo exits and even more awkward first introductions (who can forget the infamous panties-in-the-pocket fiasco?) 20 different times.
You've also been subjected to decades of semi-unfortunate date scenarios—situations when seemingly level-headed, hopefully intelligent women are forced into activities that can only be described as cringe-worthy. But let's all be honest to ourselves: That's why we tune in in the first place. We're not parked on the couch to swoon over romantic pickup lines; we're there to nearly die of embarrassment.
This evening, we'll watch a new crop of women embark on the storied journey with Bachelor Ben Higgins, and there's a good chance we'll watch at least several minutes of the two-hour premiere through our fingers, mouths agape in delighted shock. To practice, let's look back at some of the most ridiculous dates from the days of Bachelor yore. We can guarantee you'll get some good laughs, a few squeals, and a very long list of what not to do with your next potential boyfriend.
10. The Action Movie
The Bachelor Stunt Date from Steven Ho on Vimeo.
Pardon us if we're being shortsighted, but just how does one get to know someone else while they're performing action stunts and fight scenes?
9. The Rave Run
The most ridiculous aspect of this rave date? That it was probably the most normal/least offensive thing that Juan Pablo did all season.
8. Off Off Broadway
This is one of those totally random date ideas that could have easily turned dull: A bunch of children get together to make the contestants perform a play for Bachelor Ben (Flajnik, that is). Everybody knows that kiddie plays are a snoozefest, but luckily things livened up a bit thanks to some very questionable cleavage and a slow-motion running bit.
7. K-Pop Gone Wrong
We would have more sass to offer on the topic of a group of contestants traveling to Seoul to perform with notable K-Pop band 2NE1, but without this date we wouldn't have been giving these most beautiful GIF gifts.
6. Stand-Up "Comedy"
On its face, a stand-up comedy date is actually kind of a great idea. But this is The Bachelor, so that means that instead of going to watch talented professionals perform, they wrote the material themselves. Just a note to the contestants here: Blonde jokes are not stand-up comedy.
5. Desert Dropoff
It's everyone's worst nightmare: Choppering into a deserted wasteland and being left for dead. Well, not dead, but you know. Trying to spice up the romance while you, your date, and your sworn enemy (who is also after your date) are the only humans for miles isn't exactly easy. In fact, it's a recipe for an all-out Lord of the Flies-style societal breakdown. And that's exactly what happened.
4. Bikini Skiing
Skiing date? Good, if you're The Bachelor. Skiing date while practically naked? Better. Skiing date while practically naked, in front of hordes of tourists and perfect strangers? The best.
3. The Country Sing-Off
Karaoke is fun. It's a bunch of friends and strangers getting together, imbibing in the social lubricant we call alcohol, and singing their drunk little hearts out to "Living on a Prayer." But when you remove the most important parts of that equation (that would be the friends, the alcohol, and the '80s hits), all that you're left with is awkwardness. Nobody sounds good singing country songs sober (just ask Blake Shelton!), and most certainly not if they just spent the last hour getting groped by Big & Rich.
2. The Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Shoot
We'll just let this picture speak for itself.
1. The Fake Wedding
This was a truly harebrained idea, and we are so thankful for it. We also love the slight reverse of gender roles—typically the women are depicted as the wedding-crazed (picture Friends' Rachel opening the door in full wedding dress attire), but this time around it was the man who wanted to pretend marry somebody. After, like, a month.