Damn it, Matt Damon! Can't you just stay in one spot for like, five seconds?! We are hemorrhaging money trying to get your ass back to where you're supposed to be.
Quora user Kynan Eng actually calculated how much money has been "spent" on bringing Matt Damon back from distance places (Mars, Normandy, etc.). He factored in movie budgets and how much dough was dropped for items like a Gulf War helicopter rescue (Courage Under Fire) and an Interstellar spaceship (Interstellar).
All told, honest, hard-working people have spent over $900 billion saving Matt Damon.
$900 billion! No wonder the economy is in such terrible shape. You know how people always say "Thanks, Obama" when things go wrong as if everything is his fault? Why don't we all start saying "Thanks, Damon." Try it out today.
Here is Eng's breakdown of money spent for Damon's "extended business trips" from his Quora post:
Courage under Fire: $46m
Saving Private Ryan: $70m
Titan AE: $75m
Green Zone: $100m
The Martian: $108m
Fictional Costs (2015 currency):
Courage Under Fire (Gulf War 1 helicopter rescue): $300k
Saving Private Ryan (WW2 Europe search party): $100k
Titan AE (Earth evacuation spaceship): $200B
Syriana (Middle East private security return flight): $50k
Green Zone (US Army transport from Middle East): $50k
Elysium (Space station security deployment and damages): $100m
Interstellar (Interstellar spaceship): $500B
The Martian (Mars mission): $200B
TOTAL: $900B plus change
You see how much money you're costing us, Matt Damon?! Why are you always in space, man? Just be more like Ryan Gosling and stay here on Earth. We bet Ryan Gosling doesn't cost the human race $900 billion. Or does he? Next time, on Serial…
Note to self: Email NPR and Sarah Koenig about making season three of Serial about Hollywood stars who cost us billions of dollars.