Gwyneth Paltrow Goop Gift Guide

Is the thought of holiday shopping this year already giving you a cases of hives? Have no fear: Gwyneth Paltrow is here to help.

Of course…should you take the lifestyle guru up on any of her Goop-tatsic picks, it might just take a solid bite out of your wallet. There's no question that the 43-year-old's got impeccable taste. It just happens to also be very astronomically expensive taste. We digress.

After tipping over the $109,384 mark last year, Gwyneth and her Goop team have outdone themselves once again. And sugarcoat this tally, we cannot: The entire 2015 gift guide will cost you more than $519,505… and that's not including items with prices only available upon request.

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"Whether you want to spend $8 or $8,000, we've rounded up some of the most stunning and appealing gift options around—each and every item (a leather travel journal, monogrammed pajamas, an Hermes iWatch, a trip to the moon…) is something we'd love to give or receive," the gift guide's title page reads.

Whether you're planning on splashing out a few bucks for those aforementioned $8 goods or ready to whip out $125,000 on a pair of solid-gold dumbbells (we're not kidding), go ahead and check out a few of the most expensive (and just-plain-wacky) picks:

Item: World Exploration at the Edge of Space, $90,000
Gwyneth says: "We don't know how it works, but we want it."

Item: Canoe Condom Dispenser, $43 (and sorry, it's already sold out)
Gwyneth says: "Serious design, for taking sex seriously."

Item: Hock Design Goldloft 18K Gold Dumbbells, $125,000
Gwyneth says: "Speechless."

Item: Rosewood Handle Truffle Slicer, $40
Gwyneth says: "If you own a truffle slicer…"

Item: Italian White Truffle, $175
Gwyneth says: "It means you own truffles."

Item: Cedes Milano Toothpaste Squeezer, $244
Gwyneth says: "Better than chip clip."

Item: Carry on Moscow Mule Kit, $24
Gwyneth says: "For takin the cocktail cart up a notch."

Item: Vintage Ball and Chain, $1,500
Gwyneth says: "A one–liner in vintage treasure"

Item: The Darwin Tank, $1,621.27
Gwyneth says: "Unapologetically awesome. (No clue where you buy the jellyfish though.)"

Item: Leica 8X20 Ultravid CR Binoculars, $729
Gwyneth says: "For spying on the neighbors."

Item: NLST Cashmere Sweater Set, $995
Gwyneth says: "Sure you can wear these separately… but why would you want to?"

Item: Selenite Fireplace Logs, $330
Gwyneth says: "These crystal logs look even better than the real thing."

Item: Hangover Tea, $25
Gwyneth says: "Relief, in a bag."

Item: Ivan Baj Ruby Gemme Vase, $2,900
Gwyneth says: "Murano glass, hand-cut to resemble a brilliant ruby."

Item: Momento Mori Skull Edition with Cumberland Pattern, price upon request.
Gwyneth says: "Nothing like a floral crown to make the macabre beautiful."

Item: Pacha series Dreamcatcher, price upon request
Gwyneth says: "A gorgeous dreamcatcher that moonlights as really pretty wall décor."

Item: Censer Incense Burner, $820
Gwyneth says: "Smells like Christmas spirit."

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