Scientific Study Debunks Theory That Birth Order Influences Personality: Would Our Fave TV Siblings Agree?

Findings were published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences

By Dominique Haikel Oct 20, 2015 6:59 PMTags
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A study published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences has debunked the theory that birth order can influence your personality. Sure this is a prestigious, scientific research study... but we have our own opinions on the subject!

The authors explain their reason for creating the study: "The question of whether a person's position among siblings has a lasting impact on that person's life course has fascinated both the scientific community and the general public for >100 years."

So why fix something that wasn't broken? Why set out to change the perfectly logical views of the people? Apparently, because we were all lead to believe the wrong thing. The authors concluded, "This finding contradicts lay beliefs and prominent scientific theories alike and indicates that the development of personality is less determined by the role within the family of origin than previously thought."

That's all fine and dandy for the sake of science, but we disagree.

Haven't these scientists watched an episode of Full House or The Brady Bunch? How can you sit here and tell us birth order hasn't influenced the precious lives of our favorite TV characters (or obviously the writers who wrote those characters)!? Preposterous. 

Authors Julia M. Rohrer, Boris Egloff and Stefan C. Schmukle discovered that birth order does not determine "extraversion, emotional stability, agreeableness, conscientiousness, or imagination." Are they for real? 

That may be true for their cute little study, but, like, hello!? We suggest they start this research over again. 

CBS via Getty Images

The public has been lead to believe, judging from this Huff Post article, that the eldest child is "The Achiever," the middle is "The Peacemaker" and the youngest is "The Life of the Party." Call us old-fashioned, but we totally agree with these supposedly now-outdated ways of thinking. 

How else do you explain the fact that IMDb calls DJ Tanner a straight A student?

How, oh humble and holy scientists, can you deny that in the epic TV movie A Very Brady Christmas, Jan, the middle child, indeed makes peace with her husband, saving their marriage from divorce?!

Let's not forget, everyone knows the babies of each family, Michelle Tanner, Cindy Brady and Bobby Brady, were totally the life of the party!

Don't these people remember the episode where Cindy and Bobby hold a mock Brady trial to determine who stole Cindy's dolly? Talk about a family fiesta! Who can forget Michelle, paving the party path with her iconic "do-wah diddy-diddy down diddy-do" duet with Jesse and The Rippers? Party on, Wayne! Amiright?! 

Fool us not, dear scientists. We have done our own, incredibly unscientific research and must politely disagree with your findings. 

Do you think birth order influences your personality? Tell us in the comments!

Watch: Do Nicole Kidman's Kids Want Another Sibling?

Speaking of siblings, do Nicole Kidman's kids want another one? Watch and find out!