Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt

Dan Herrick/KPA/

Dear Ted:
I’m just fed up with the whole Jen vs. Angie issue. Jen has a hot, young guy, plus, she doesn't seem to care what Brad and Angie do. What is Angie and Brad’s problem? By the way, I'm a lesbian. They won't get married until we do? Please, we could care less if they do. Where were they years ago when they were married to other people? It's just another of their publicity stunts.


Dear PR Stunt Man and Wife:
One among many. Or a good excuse to stay legally single. 

Dear Ted:
Is Hollywood so boring lately that nearly every article has to be about Rob Pattinson? Or is there a reason for all the sudden heavy publicity? By the way, would have voted a big no on Prop 8 if I lived out your way.

—Lynn, Conn.

Dear Twilight Overdose:
He’s the flavor of the month, and a delicious one at that. Let us gobble him up for a bit, ‘K? We so know there’s more scandal to this creatively coiffed gent than meets his bedroom eyes. Breaking in seconds...

Dear Ted:
Did you by any chance see the storyline on The Starter Wife where the bipolar, closeted action star tries to come out (when he's off his meds) and is stopped by his lover who traps him in the bathroom? Is this anything close to the Toothy Tile situation?

Dear Dr Scat:
Drugs aren’t involved as much as delirium, darling.

Dear Ted:
While I am not against gays, I am against gay marriage purely on religious grounds. I do respect your lifestyle, but I believe that allowing gay marriage would force churches to accept something outside of their own doctrine. And since I am for freedom of religion, I can't seem to reconcile the two. I wish you much happiness in your life.


Dear Both Ways:
My life isn’t a style and c
hurches aren’t the only places where people get married. 

Dear Ted:
One Unmanageable Blind Vice must be Nelly. If not, it's Eminem.

—meadsy5, New Zealand

Dear Black or White:
It mustn’t be either, 'cause it’s not. Our man’s had more hits than one of those guys, less than the other.

Dear Ted:
The David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson talks have lasted a while. Is there any truth to it all, or is it just suspicious thought from their own suspicious activity? Would love to know!


Dear Lingering Hunch:
Let’s put it this way: Some stories that linger, lustily, through the annals of Hollywood notoriety, almost always have some sort of basis in fact (save those gerbils up Richard Gere’s butt, I suppose). Acknowledging how much veracity there is to it is up to David and Gillian to fess up on, but trust me, in the course of their professional and personal adventures through the years, something amorous went down. Is it still there?

Dear Ted:
OK, you've had your fun. You've ranted and raved, wept and pleaded, stomped your little feet all over Prop 8. We've all heard more than enough. To my knowledge, this isn't a political blog. It's an entertainment gossip blog. It's time to move on. I am sick, sick, sick of it all. The election is over! If you want to put your readers to sleep, if you want to drive them away, you're going about it in exactly the right way. Let's hear some realistic advice for Brad Pitt who seems to grow dumber and dumber by the child.  What's going to happen when he wakes up and discovers it was all just a game? 

—Jim, Iowa

Dear Sleepy:
You think Prop 8 passing has been fun? You’re as dumb as Pitt is to think he’s going to grow old and gray with Angie.

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