StarbucksThere are national emergencies, and then there are NATIONAL EMERGENCIES. This is a NATIONAL EMERGENCY in every sense of the capitalization. We're going to have to round up the troops, clear the roads and shelter in place until someone with authority directs us on how to proceed.
Are you ready for the bad news? Pumpkin Spice Lattes are going to be late to stores this year. WE REPEAT: Pumpkin spice lattes are going to be late to stores this year. And if our precious PSLs are delayed, that means Fall in its entirety is delayed. No crunchy foliage under your brand new leather boots, no scarves tied perfectly so, no decorative gourds, no seasonal beers, no apple spice candles and certainly no traipsing through a pumpkin patch.
Because of Starbucks and their crap-tastic production schedules we're going to have to wait, like, an entire week to put our fall plans in motion. What will we Instagram in the meantime?!
So here's the deal: Every year Starbucks picks a nationwide release date for the PSL as well as an early release date for markets who are deemed really into their PSLs. These dates typically fall in the first day or two of September and the end of August, respectively. (For reference, last year the lattes hit stores on August 26 and then Labor Day). But this year they will be available in all stores on September 8 and in special markets on September 4.
That's like, an entire extra week of waiting. That means that this year we won't get to drink Pumpkin Spice Lattes will it's still 90 degrees out. It will be, like, 83 degrees instead. Starbucks has yet to comment on the reasoning for this delay, which means they won't even have to answer for their crimes against Fall. And Instagram. And basic bitches everywhere.
America needs answers, Starbucks.