David Duchovny, Gillian Anderson

AP Photo/Chris Pizzello

Dear Ted:
I read in one of your blog's that David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson were seen going into a restroom together at the L.A. X-Files premiere. What happened? Do you have any more information on these two? It seems to me they are certainly more than just friends!

Dear Diddling Dave:
A picture speaks a thousand words. Or in D.D. and G.A.'s case, gropes. Check out the red carpet snaps and you tell me. This story's going away about as fast as Prop 8.

Dear Ted:
I'm thoroughly enjoying Obama's election as president, but at the same time I am dismayed that the same state that went so heavily for him appears to be endorsing the hateful Prop 8. I'm just an older, white, straight guy that believes that anyone paying the same taxes as me should have the same rights. I truly hope another effort is mounted to overturn this amendment. In the meantime we all need to stress it's about civil rights. Keep the faith Ted!

Dear Slow and Steady:
I'll keep the faith as long as it takes. Thanks, appreciate the support.

Dear Ted:
You wrote, "This, while on the official family Osmond blog, it's clearly stated to vote yes on Prop 8. Just goes to show, don't believe everything you read." I am sure most of the Osmond family supported Prop 8. I am also sure that not all of the Osmond's agree on every issue. Do you think everyone in your own family is thrilled that you engage in homosexual behavior? If they do, maybe you should just change your website to the official Casablanca Family Website since everyone in your family sees everything exactly like Ted does.

Dear Douche Supreme:
Eight what? Inches? I agree!

Dear Ted:
Just wanted to say how truly sorry I am for Prop 8 passing. I, along with most of northern California, voted no, but unfortunately there many more closed-minded people in this state than we realized. I hope the Supreme Court will overturn this decision and your husband and you, as well as the many others who want to marry, can live your lives happily ever after as you so deserve.
—Amy, Calif.

Dear NorCal No:
Thanks for the support, sweetie. Regardless of the law, this fight is hardly over.

Dear Ted:
I'm sorry that the voters of our state were too narrow-minded and homophobic to vote down Prop 8. Your ironic comment about animal rights versus the rights of gay people was right on (unfortunately!). Just wanted to lend some moral support your way. Also, loved the Bitch-Back column today with all the barely disguised winks and nods to your faithful readers.

Dear Beastly Barricade:
Had to throw some love your way with the hints. No one else around here seems to be distributing much.

Dear Ted:
Is Stud Bucket LaBeouf Ben Affleck, and Toothy Tile Aaron Eckhart?

Dear Double Whammy:
Stud is a current superstar. Eckhart is close with T.T., but not the answer.

Dear Ted:
My love and favorite 'mo, I am hoping you are as pissed as I am about ABC's chickens--t decision to can the Erica/Callie storyline on Grey's Anatomy. Their quote, "Brooke Smith was obviously not fired for playing a lesbian. Clearly it's not an issue, as we have a lesbian character on the show—Calliope Torres." Well, she can't be much of a lesbian without a girlfriend, can she? I've been a fan of the show since the start, but I am giving serious thought to boycotting, and I hope that a lot more others will as well. They fire Isaiah Washington for making a gay slur, and then they're too afraid to go forward with one of the best storylines that I've seen on TV this season?
—Anne D.T., Las Animas, Colo.

Dear Let It Rip:
This is so Isaiah Washington in reverse. Grey's big mistake was firing Washington in the first place. They should have made him stay on and play gay himself. Ratings would have been even more sensational.

Dear Ted:
Every post about celebrity political opinions seems to cause a wave of reader vitriol about how much they don't care about that info. However, they seem A-OK reading everything else about celebrities—where they ate, what they wore, blah blah. We ask politicians what their favorite TV shows are in an attempt to make them seem more accessible, though it has no bearing on their public service. God forbid we allow an actor to show he or she has more rolling around in her/his brain than just "Aren't I pretty?" Why not ask them their opinions?
—B, San Diego

Dear Pollywood:
We often do. After all, Paris Hilton originally declared her desire to be president via this blolumn.

Dear Ted:
Love the new yellow background. You rock! Tell me, is Toothy Tile Matthew Broderick?
Bored in Canada

Dear Age Inappropriate:
Big e-kiss, doll-face, thanks. And no, M.B. is older and far doughier than our fave closeted star.

Dear Ted:
Is Shafterella Shoshstein Jennifer Aniston? Love the column!

Dear Spinster Mayer:
Fab guess, but S.S. isn't a current tabloid-filled charity case.

Dear Ted:
Mrs. LaBeouf sounds like someone spicy like Eva Longoria Parker. Is Stud-Bucket Tony Parker?
Jane, Sydney

Dear Park It Like Parker:
Stud-Bucket isn't a B-ball player. You're guess for Mrs. LaBeouf is closer.

Dear Ted:
In a sorta defense of Angie, does it really matter what she's doing on the sly, or if she is (or isn't) a saint through and through if what she does in public actually helps refugees and other people in need? I personally don't care where good deeds come from, as long as they are actually good! Or are you telling me that she's dealing drugs to the refugees she's ostensibly helping? Or raping the women? Seriously, what has she done which negates the good things she is trying to accomplish?

Dear A-Parade:
Of course I admire the work she does. Just not sure of the intentions behind it, that's all.

Dear Ted:
Tom Cruise
is frequently pictured with daughter Suri...But I seldom see his older son and daughter. Are they passé?

Dear Mission Abort?
Unfortunately new kids are the latest fad here in H'wood.

Dear Ted:
I have a gripe about Jessica Simpson. I am so sick of her flaunting her relationship with Tony Romo in the press. Did she seriously not learn her lesson last time? Since you're so good at predicting relationship longevity, how long do you give these two? I can't believe any self-respecting man would put up with her shenanigans!
Laura, Michigan

Dear Go Long:
I actually do think they'll last a while. But Romo's bound to get fed up with the Simpson clan soon enough.

Dear Ted:
I'm embarrassed for your words, "What if I commandeered a proposition saying Mormonism should be outlawed?" Maybe you ought to read the First Amendment: "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof."

Dear Think Harder:
Sweetie, it's called an analogy. Besides, Mormonism has reached far beyond the scope of religion when it's financing legislation that takes away the rights of minorities. Wake up.

—Additional Sass by Taryn Ryder

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