by Jenna Mullins | Thu., May. 28, 2015 10:33 AM
Ruh-roh! Men of the Internet are angry. And they have every right to be! After centuries—nay, eons of dominating every corner of existence, from sports to business to pop culture, those darn women are starting to creep in. The audacity of those ovary carriers! First the female-driven Mad Max: Fury Road taking over the box office and now women soccer stars in video games?! What's next…female CEOs?!
(Pssst…we're assuming that the simple-minded dudes who are pissed off about FIFA 16 don't know about female CEOs so just play along).
So EA Sports just announced that for the first time in the 22-year history of the game, Women's National teams will be featured in one of their most popular game series. FIFA 16, out Sept. 22, will feature 12 international teams, including England, United States, Germany and Mexico.
"Bringing some of the best women's players and teams in the world to our franchise is a massive event for EA Sports, and we are equally excited about bringing millions of fans a new way to play," VP and GM of EA Sports David Rutter said in a statement. "We're making sure fans get an authentic experience when playing with Women's National Teams thanks to our innovative player capture and reference tools, as well as the sophisticated gameplay platform which we will continue to innovate on in FIFA 16."
Soccer stars from all over the world were part of the motion capture process, which means the likes of Canada's Christine Sinclair, USA's Alex Morgan and England's Stephanie Houghton wore those crazy dotted spandex suits and showed off their moves so FIFA 16 would be as authentic as possible. And with the Women's World Cup launching in just a couple of weeks, it's pretty badass to see these athletes finally getting a real spotlight in the sports gaming world. Amazing, right?
Wrong. (According to lots of men).
See, the people who seem to get angry whenever women step out of the kitchen are bitching and moaning all over Twitter about female athletes joining their video game. Because it's obviously ruining their gaming experience forever. And they have some valid points.
Sorry, we spelled "completely stupid, insulting and takes the human race back to the caveman ages" like v-a-l-i-d.
You guys might be surprised to hear this, but there are period jokes! We imagine that most of the people writing these tweets are either 12-year-old boys or they operate at the reading level of a 12-year-old boy.
(Please do not engage these people on Twitter, though you might want to mock/correct them. They will either make you angrier with sophomoric retorts or they will turn into a pile of ash in the presence of logic. Either way, it's not ideal).
So in Fifa 16 can a red card also mean that there is a blood spot on the field— Simon Maingi (@ImThatNword) May 28, 2015
Well looks like I'm not buying FIFA 16 https://t.co/HJ1CoCas7l— John Carter (@jcistheboss) May 28, 2015
If I'm beaten by a women' team on FIFA 16 i might as well kill myself— yomi (@Iam_vigo) May 28, 2015
Women are in next FIFA game, damn you feminism, you've ruined everything.— Just Hamza (@or_mizo) May 28, 2015
Women in Fifa 16? Nice I guess but why would you ever play them unless you wanted to handicap yourself?— TheGreatCornholio (@modemez) May 28, 2015
So pissed they put girls in FIFA 16 😔😒— Qwawi Uzamaki ♑️ (@itsQwawi) May 28, 2015
Fifa 16 a player may have a bad game coz of her period 😂😂— Semi Grandad (@don_jide) May 28, 2015
i dunno why EA's introducing women teams on fifa 16 yazi...unless they gonna exchange jerseys at the end of a match 🔥— ￼ (@bathwese) May 28, 2015
Why would they put women in FIFA when 95% of players are boys??? Makes no sense— George (@Ballacked) May 28, 2015
I really don't like the idea of women soccer on FIFA 16.. 😐— Mauricio G. (@mauricio2332) May 28, 2015
fifa 16.. key player red carded for pushing opposition player in the tits— Stop it! James (@_Mboga_) May 28, 2015
So now there's gonna be women's football on FIFA 16, why do women have to interfere with everything we do?! ✋— Steve (@StevenDiickens) May 28, 2015
Might as well put El Salvador in Fifa 16 if they want to put women's teams. Nobody is going to use them 😂😂😂— Alex (@alexc1229) May 28, 2015
FIFA 16 Career Mode: Your star striker has been ruled out for 9 months due to pregnancy..— Footy Jokes (@Footy_Jokes) May 28, 2015
Why are women on Fifa 16?😂😂😂 They can't play football— Romi (@romi__p) May 28, 2015
They shld add dressing room RT @jawshuewar: FIFA 16 got to be extra realistic now if you know what I mean.— SkyWalker (@Ned_Cruz) May 28, 2015
If you get smacked by one of the womens team on Fifa 16 you deserved to be laughed at— Ray ray (@dzenann_r) May 28, 2015
So in FIFA 16 your team will have 100% chemistry...when you make all their periods synchronize— Simon Maingi (@ImThatNword) May 28, 2015
FIFA 16 features women's football? Why?— Ali ️ (@Ali_bear_hudson) May 28, 2015
FIFA 16. How will eleven women agree to wear the same outfit?— Shaffie Waru (@Mwass_) May 28, 2015
Women in FIFA 16? Scenes when your best player leaves for 9 months due to pregnancy. pic.twitter.com/OtNAHjWsw0— HAWKS IN 7 (@FUT_Jar) May 28, 2015
Why the fck would people want women of fifa 16 hahaha what's the point— Zach (@ZBarrigan) May 28, 2015
To be fair, we saw tons and tons of tweets from both men and women who were applauding the addition of women to the game and who were sick of these ridiculous complaints and lame, misogynistic jokes. So we know it's not all men who are stuck in the Mad Men era. We call those men "probably not single, lonely and crying over their keyboard about a video game."
There are going to be MEN in FIFA 16? Are they gonna stop every 5 seconds to scratch their balls and verbally abuse women?— Ponta (@typicalfeminist) May 28, 2015
Look, if you don't want to play as Abby Wambach or Sydney Leroux, that's totally fine. It's your video game; play it however floats your boat. But don't you dare get pissed off about EA including women in FIFA 16, because there are young girls out there who finally get to see their sports heroes featured in one of the most iconic video games of all time, which is a really big deal. Ladies play videos games, too, bro.
But hey, the men at FIFA are doing a fine job, right? And that's all that matters.
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