Raining Spiders in Australia

REUTERS/Daniel Munoz

We don't mean to be crass on this lovely Tuesday but EFF THIS S--T.

It is raining spiders in Australia. It is literally, lit-er-al-ly raining spiders in Australia, you guys. Baby spiders are falling from the skies. Yeah, we know this phenomenon is not a new thing but sweet baby Zeus someone save us because spiders are falling from the heavens and we should just burn this planet down and start over.

Goulburn, a town two hours outside of Sydney, Australia, has been invaded by spiders due to the fact mother nature is a cruel mistress who has to do stuff like this to remind us that she's in charge. Why is she in charge?

Because she can make it RAIN SPIDERS.

Raining Spiders in Australia

REUTERS/Daniel Munoz

"The whole place was covered in these little black spiderlings and when I looked up at the sun it was like this tunnel of webs going up for a couple of hundred metres into the sky," Goulburn resident Ian Watson told The Sydney Herald. "You couldn't go out without getting spider webs on you. And I've got a beard as well, so they kept getting in my beard."

Oh. OK. That is the most horrifying thing we've ever heard, and we've heard Justin Bieber say stuff like "swag."

If you are interested in the science behind this nightmare turned reality, naturalist Martyn Robinson from the Australian Museum says it's a combination of a migration technique used by baby spiders called "ballooning" and the Angel Hair effect, which is how spiders escape floods. They basically toss silk strands in the air and wait for them to catch on something so they can haul themselves out of the water. Isn't nature fascinating?

Raining Spiders in Australia

AP Photo/Rob Griffith

The answer is NO. Nature is awful! Why can't spiders just stay where they belong?! Far away from us and not in the sky raining down on innocent humans? Damn, spiders. You have two jobs. Create a superhero and stay away from us.

However, Robinson insists that there is nothing harmful with the amount of spiders currently invading the town.

"There's nothing to worry about," he says. "They'll all disperse once the weather conditions warm up."  

But the psychological damage of a cloud of spiders falling onto your face? That will scar you for life.

In conclusion:

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