It's not easy being an actress.
In addition to, you know, acting, they must also promote their work. That means they need to look sexy yet polished, have hilarious anecdotes at the ready, and relate to the everywoman. It's a lot of pressure Amy Schumer explored that concept—and mocked Blake Lively in the process—on Inside Amy Schumer.
As Amy Lake Blively, Schumer parodied how actress will often appear on talk shows wearing tight dresses, giggle on cue, share meaningless stories, and endear themselves to men by making sports references. Bill Hader played the smarmy host, Cliffley, who made multiple creepy and sexist comments.
Schumer's character appeared on Cliffley Lately to promote her Baz Luhrman's musical remake of Blade Runner. As soon as she arrived on set, Cliffley commented on her appearance. "Oh, my gosh!" he said. "Wow, Amy, you look stunning!"
Amy confessed that she was "a little nervous" to appear on Cliffley Lately because she "always had the biggest crush" on the host. "Hold on, I need to call me wife!" Cliffley joked. "'Uh, Darflin, it's over!'" He proceeded to hang up the fake phone, then remove his wedding ring, throw it away and shoot a finger gun at it. "But seriously, that dress!" he said, pointing to the actress' skintight mini. "That dress! Look at the dress! Give me a break!" Amy giggled and played with her hair, and in a show of false modesty, told her late-night crush, "I don't even know how to sit in it." She then modeled her look from several angles.
Cliffley's response? "Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot!"
After sitting down, Amy announced, "I am such a tomboy! I usually just wear, like, sweatpants if I'm home, or my favorite team's jersey, or I'm naked." As Cliffley became aroused, she posed in her seat.
After mentioning that she was cold—which was "very unique" to her—Cliffley offered Amy his jacket.
"Chivalry is alive and well here!" Amy said.
"Unfortunately so is Darflin!" Cliffley said.
Then, picking up a noose, he said, "Darflin, I just got you a necklace!"
Things only became more NSFW from there.
"So, I heard you just had a birthday," he told his guest.
"That is so true," Amy replied, her legs becoming mysteriously more golden as the interview went on. "This is such a funny and interesting story. So, me and all my girlfriends went to a nature preserve in Fiji. Everyone has to go! So, they had these underprivileged dolphins there. This one dolphin, Windy, one day we just locked eyes, and he just went down on me."
"Now does that make your boyfriend jealous?" Cliffley asked.
"My boyfriend?" Amy asked. "Yeah right. The only man in my life is my Labradoodle, Eva Braun."
"I'm told my idea of a perfect idea at home is just, like, staying at home and baking for my best girlfriends, and just, like, reading comic books," Amy said as two male audience members pleasured themselves. "That's why I'm so excited about Baz's Blade Runner, because I've always been a huge sci-fi freak. I'm, like, so embarrassed to tell you guys this, but my favorite movie ever, my favorite movie of all time—this is so embarrassing—is Star Wars."
Needless to say, that sent the two audience members over the edge.
Inside Amy Schumer airs Mondays at 10:30 p.m. on Comedy Central.