ABCWhat? We're not crying. We've just been chopping onions. At work.
Tonight's DWTS didn't have a theme, but if it did, it would have been "All The Tears."
All four remaining contestants made us shed at least one tear tonight, especially in those pre-dance interviews where their families went on about how proud they were. The performances were loaded with emotion too, from Julianne Hough's return to the DWTS dance floor to Len Goodman joining Nastia Liukin for the final moments of her routine.
Plus, Noah Galloway took some time out of his post-dance chat with Erin Andrews to propose to his girlfriend Jamie, which reduced us all to puddles barely half an hour into the show, so we barely stood a chance by the time we got to the end.
The big twist of tonight's episode involved each of the judges stepping out from behind the judges' table to coach and choreograph for one of the remaining couples. Bruno Tonioli had Rumer Willis and Val Chmerkovskiy doing ballet while Carrie Ann Inaba coached Noah and Sharna Burgess in a scary-sexy paso doble.
Julianne and Len, however, opted to dance along with their couples. Julianne danced for the first minute or so of Riker Lynch and Allison Holker's Argentine Tango, and Len asked to dance with Nastia at the very end of her routine.
He explained that he feels like his body has betrayed him, since he can no longer dance due to arthritis in his knee, so essentially Derek Hough (who danced again despite his injury) was playing Len's younger self as Len looked at old photographs. Then, Derek spun Nastia into Len's arms, and he finished the dance.
By the end of this thing, we were sobbing and pretending we weren't in order not to be judged by our coworkers. We just wanted to give Len a big hug, and then also Derek, just in general.
All of the judges' choice dances were given perfect scores by the other three judges, which gave Riker and Nastia perfect scores for the whole night.
Rumer and Val trailed just behind with a 68 out of 70, while Noah and Sharna walked away with 66 out of 70.
Now, we have to put the emotions away for a second and get real: It's time for Noah to go home. He's great, and has great abs, and we're so very happy for him and his new fiancée, but his dancing can't hold a candle to the other three finalists. He's done incredibly well so far and he's improved so much despite all of the challenges he's faced, but if he remains on the show for the finals, someone much more deserving will have been cheated (as a few other dancers already have cough*WillowShields*cough).
If everything goes as it should tomorrow night, we'll end up with a final of Riker, Nastia, and Rumer, and any one of them could take home the mirrorball to our satisfaction.
Check out the full list of scores from tonight:
Noah Galloway and Sharna Burgess: 36/40 + 30/40
Rumer Willis and Val Chmerkovskiy: 38/40 + 30/40
Riker Lynch and Allison Holker: 40/40 + 30/40
Nastia Liukin and Derek Hough/Sasha Farber: 40/40 + 30/40
Watch Julianne's return to the dancefloor, then head to the comments to weigh in on your favorite dance!
Dancing with the Stars airs Mondays and Tuesdays at 8 p.m. on ABC.