First of all we'd like to thank you for a couple of things: The Hemsworth Brothers, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler's comedy domination, a television channel that's dedicated only to cooking and the fact that Chris Pratt and Paul Rudd are now action stars. Much obliged.
But now we have a bone to pick with you, which when you think about it is kind of a gross saying. Is it like vultures picking at the remains of a carcass? If so, it's a fitting description because every time we read news that you guys are rebooting a cherished film from the past, we die a little inside.
For example, apparently a She's All That reboot is coming. Why? Laney Boggs (Rachael Leigh Cook) is a feminist icon and you know you can never replace Freddie Prinze Jr. or Paul Walker, right? And Matthew Lillard's performance? One of a kind. Also, good luck recreating the magic from the "Kiss Me" coming-down-the-steps after the makeover scene. Good freakin' luck.
We know that a lot of these high school movies already have sequels (and we all know how well most of those were regarded, right?) or remakes already in the work, but please, we are begging you to just leave these alone. Remember that kid who made the YouTube video where he screamed "Leave Britney alone!" Think of us yelling that at you regarding these beloved teen/high school movies that should remain untouched:
We remember when our parents thought we were too young for this movie, so we had to sneak downstairs and secretly watch while our older sister had a viewing party with her friends. It was life-changing and it started our decades long crush on Paul Rudd. (Again, thanks for making him an action star). But, leave it alone.
2. 10 Things I Hate About You
Without the late Heath Ledger, there is no 10 Things I Hate About You. His bleacher performance was his second-best film moment ever (after every scene in The Dark Knight). Not even a perfect Joseph Gordon Levitt clone could make this remake acceptable in our books.
3. Breakfast Club
We just celebrated its 30-year anniversary. Let's go another 30 years without even a whisper of a remake.
4. Princess Diaries
Before everyone was anti-Anne Hathaway, she was the star of this movie adaptation with the best opening line ever: "Somebody sat on me again."
5. Can't Hardly Wait
One of the most underrated high school movies of all time, which means no touchie. Unless you want to do a Mike Dexter spinoff in which case...maybe.
6. Never Been Kissed
The hottest teacher-student love affair ever! Wait, that came out wrong.
7. Cruel Intentions
This movie was dark, sexy, and dangerous. Every girl who watched it suddenly had unrealistic expectations about losing their virginity, until they realized that a handsome, troubled rich guy would not give them the tender experience they were looking for while "Colorblind" played in the background. Don't break teenagers hearts all over again with a scene like that.
8. Bring It On
OK, Hollywood. You made your 19 remakes of the original. Now we know someone is in an office somewhere trying to pitch a reboot. Just shut them down with a "Brr, It's Cold In Here" performance.
9. High School Musical
You will never recreate the magic of Troy and Gabriella so don't even try! (Still not over the end of Zanessa).
Scream was a once-in-a-lifetime kind of movie, and not just in the horror genre. Not only should you not reboot this film, you flat-out couldn't.
11. American Pie
You can't really do the humping the pie gag twice and expect the same results.
12. Dazed and Confused
Don't. You. Dare.
13. Easy A
Emma Stone, national treasure, and Amanda Bynes at her Bynes-y best? Don't fix what ain't broke!
Thank you for your time, Hollywood. Now leave our teen movies alone.
A Josie Grossie who believes she could be an Amanda Beckett
P.S. These people in the comments below have some other movies that you should stay away from, too.