This video presented by Peter Alsop and his chorus of children (who's parents probably still regret having signed the Parent/Guardian release form) pose some uncomfortable questions stemming from the eponymous, "Where Will I Go When I'm Dead and Gone?" It's crazy to think they probably came up with these questions while hanging out at a tech rehearsal for their community theater production of Annie but isn't that really where most kids do their deepest thinking about death?
However, the questions raised by the children actually raise a number of questions themselves. Namely, What?
We thought we'd take a moment to answer these questions.
If my body's down in a hole in the ground will I fly up in the sky?
Unless your dead body can first get break through a casket and then through all of that dirt, that, the answer is probably no.
Will I be a ghost in a haunted house?
Great question. You need to ask yourself, "Am I willing to be propped up, covered with a sheet, and shoved through a curtain every 30 seconds on a spring-loaded arm?" If the answer is yes great. Unfortunately recreational haunted houses featuring real dead bodies went out of vogue in 1934.
Will my foot hurt when I kick the bucket?
Okay, this is obviously just a line from Peter Alsop's bio on OkCupid.
If my body's turned into smoke and burned will I make a tear in your eye?
Maybe but that event will mostly make me scream in terror.
If my body gives some parts t'save kids will I disappear like a sigh?
The probably won't want your brain due to its improper use of contractions.
If my bod's in a box down under the rocks, will I get cable tv inside?
You might, but your dead eyes won't be able to see it.
There you have it, folks. And yes, you can request Comic Sans as the font on your tombstone.