JNCOs are coming back and we don't know what we've done to deserve this. The world should demand more than wide-leg pipe jeans being unleashed on its innocent citizens.
The news comes straight from Women's Wear Daily, which reports that a Chinese investor has flushed the company with enough cash to stage a full-on revival. The comeback line will be updated for 2015 fashions (kind of), featuring slouchy knit jeans, joggers with zipped bottoms, and, God forbid, those infamous leg openings. They'll supposedly be held to a strict 20-23 inch size, but it's still scary.
Now, there have been a lot of '90s trends that have come back to haunt our collective consciousness as of late. Doc Martens. Birkenstocks. Fleece tech vests. Plaid shirts tied around the waist. But these are all the relatively less-offensive fashions that we can actually get on board with (after enough subliminal messaging, that is).
There are other items that we hope never, ever, ever, ever come out of the '90s vault. Trends that are still giving us nightmares, that we're forced to confront every time we revisit our childhood homes. Reminisce with us, if you dare.
1. Rocket Dog sandals: Otherwise known as: How to make a typically comfortable shoe the most dangerous footwear ever. Fall off these bad boys and you're risking a broken ankle.
2. Butterfly hair clips: What better way to show off your scalp?
3. Puka shell necklaces: We get it, you went to an all-inclusive in Mexico with your family once.
4. Giant hats: It stops at the bucket hat. We shall go no further.
5. Kangol hats: Here's looking at you, LL Cool J.
6. Neon bike shorts: Because you wanted to draw even more attention to your bare thighs.
7. Phat Farm denim jackets: It's called Phat Farm. Enough said.
8. Slap bracelets: Jewelry or torture device?
9. Carpenter jeans: Unless you carry a hammer all day, these should never be in your wardrobe.
10. Baggy khaki shorts: Almost as flattering as JNCOs!