Ladies and gentleman, we have a fallen Fifty Shades soldier.
One brave soul in Denmark dared to do something that no man has been brave enough to attempt: He went to see Fifty Shades of Grey all by himself.
It's an admirable mission, for certain. It's embarassing enough to sit in that theater as a woman, surrounded by a group of girlfriends, as you watch handcuffed actors fornicate. But to attend a screening on your own is to know true shame. This poor man looked shame right in the face and said, "Hey, I want to see this movie! I will overcome you, Shame." He was going to watch Christian and Anastasia, and he didn't give a darn who knew it.
Until a camera crew showed up. As soon as he walked out of the theater to the sight of a full-on news program conducting interviews with moviegoers, he quickly realized the gravity of his mistake. Frozen in fear, he first attempts to retreat. Then, finding himself surrounded and stuck (alas, there is no back Shame Exit in movie theaters), he decided to attempt the Duck-and-Run.
As you can see in the above video, that was also unsuccessful. There is no shadow dark enough to hide your self-reproach, sir. It's time to own it: You went to see Fifty Shades of Grey all by yourself. Isn't life better when you walk in the light? You are single Fifty Shades man, hear you roar.