Universal Pictures and Focus Features
by Seija Rankin | Tue., Feb. 17, 2015 12:28 PM
Universal Pictures and Focus Features
Do you have Fifty Shades of Grey fatigue yet? Too bad. For better or worse, our collective consciousness is going to be fixated on this phenomenon for quite some time.
Currently, reactions to this weekend's big (and by big, we mean a straight-up record-breaking $82 million) opening (pun...intended?) are rolling in. And, predictably, they're pretty mixed. Some people wanted more sex. Some people wanted more nudity. Some people wanted Jamie Dornan to show even an ounce of interest in actually playing the part of Christian Grey. And, a lot of people just got really drunk and had a good laugh.
For this writer's part, I was actually a very, very small amount of pleasantly surprised. As someone who read exactly 1.5 pages of the first book (at the beach, no less) and then promptly tossed it into the Pacific Ocean in hopes that it would float far, far away and never live to torment another person with its pithy dialogue ever again, the movie was actually a pretty good time. Maybe it was the casual bottle of pinot grigio downed before the Friday night show, or maybe it was just the charm of Dakota Johnson's slightly more intelligent and slightly more outspoken version of Ana, but me and my wine buzz actually didn't have the worst time watching a live sex show with a few hundred strangers.
But, it seems that the Twitterverse's feelings are a little more complex than mine. Some people were very, very much not fans:
"Fifty Shades of Grey" is a slapstick comedy about straight people trying not to be boring.— Louis Virtel (@louisvirtel) February 15, 2015
Sharkanado 2 got better reviews than Fifty Shades of Grey because it was a more realistic story.— Sam Kalidi (@samkalidi) February 15, 2015
Unfortunately, there's no safe word to make the movie stop. #FiftyShadesofGrey— Dave Ihlenfeld (@daveihl) February 15, 2015
Fifty shades of Grey would be a great title for a movie about a dog trying to read a map of the U.S.— James Broaddus (@TheOGJB) February 16, 2015
There's not one dick shot in Fifty Shades of Grey?!? Really? That's like a Fast and Furious movie with no cars. (h/t @oldfilmsflicker)— Scott Weinberg (@scottEweinberg) February 15, 2015
My Fifty Shades of Grey review can be summarized as follows: Book = Corny Movie = Horny— Asa Akira (@AsaAkira) February 15, 2015
I saw Fifty Shades of Grey tonight and I have two emojis: 😵😴— Amy Odell (@amyodell) February 10, 2015
Some people had mixed feelings:
Saw the “Fifty Shades of Grey” movie. It’s 90 minutes of some half-naked guy searching for a tiny handcuff key.— Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) February 12, 2015
Saw Fifty Shades, and get this: I FOUND IT PROBLEMATIC.— Dave Holmes (@DaveHolmes) February 15, 2015
Fifty shades of don't send me mixed signals— MR.GREY (@ASULandlord) February 16, 2015
And others were clearly just as drunk as I was:
The best part of Fifty Shades of Grey was when someone in the back of the theater knocked over their liquor bottle during a quiet part.— Chef Goldblum (@MavisGary) February 15, 2015
Someone on Facebook described 50SoG as “what would happen if Thick of It’s Terri Coverley wrote an erotic novel” & I can’t stop laughing.— Dawn Foster (@DawnHFoster) February 13, 2015
Seeing #FiftyShadesOfGrey with my book club. We're a little drunk and a lot of basic and I wouldn't have it any other way.— Andrea Lavinthal (@andilavs) February 15, 2015
Fifty Shades of Grey beating Passion of the Christ's Feb. opening day record is going to be a sign of dire portent in a Frank Peretti novel.— Todd VanDerWerff (@tvoti) February 14, 2015
Still reeling from Rita Ora's performance in Fifty Shades of Grey. #iconic— Hayden Manders (@dont_bhayden) February 17, 2015
My mom just left me a message telling me that the "action" in Fifty Shades was "no big whoop". I could not delete the message fast enough.— Lesli Margherita (@QueenLesli) February 16, 2015
I assume we all send our mothers GIFs of Jamie Dornan disrobing in Fifty Shades? pic.twitter.com/qbOBpKFrmI— Mandi Bierly (@MandiBierly) February 13, 2015
The part of Fifty Shades that made me gasp loudest was when he ate her toast.— Marc Snetiker (@MarcSnetiker) February 15, 2015
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