Andi Dorfman Talks Josh Murray Break-Up on The Bachelor Special: "I've Never Loved Anybody Like That"

The former Bachelorette sat down with Chris Harrison for a very candid, very tear-filled interview

By Lauren Piester Feb 16, 2015 3:18 AMTags
Josh Murray, Andi DorfmanPaul Archuleta/FilmMagic

Are you crying? ‘Cause we're crying.

Chris Harrison sat down with Andi Dorfman tonight on a "Chris Tells All" Bachelor special, and it was exactly what we Bachelor fans needed to help us understand what happened with Andi and Josh Murray before they sadly broke up last month, just after the premiere of the new season.

The interview had barely started and Andi was crying immediately, but she had a lot to say. It made us feel both better and so much worse about the whole thing, because if there's anything we learned, it's that Andi and Josh were truly in love, and just couldn't make it work.

Andi started off by saying that it wasn't a sudden decision, and that she and Josh had been "struggling for a while," but at the end of her season of The Bachelorette, there was no doubt in her mind as to whether she made the right decision in picking Josh last spring.

"I didn't even think I knew. I didn't even think I found the one, I didn't think I found my soulmate. I knew it. I was 100% sure, I knew, even after the crew packed up and left," she told Chris. "I just remember we had the house and we couldn't get away from each other. We just laughed and had fun and cooked. I knew I had made the right decision. It affirmed that I made the right decision… I can envision sitting on his lap just laughing and joking and not caring about how people were sickened by how in love we were."

So what was the catalyst for the break-up?

"You know, we went to the live premiere and I think hearing people ask about wedding dates and seeing the other happy couples and people planning weddings, we had to ask ourselves why we're not planning a date and people who were engaged after us have a date. That was very eye opening."

"We were both very aware of the fact that we just didn't better each other," she continued. "I didn't feel supported and empowered and I don't think I gave him the support and empowerment that he needed. When you have two very passionate, very strong personalities in one house and nobody can back down and nobody is the calming force for one another, it's a lot of tension in one house."

As for whether Andi still loves Josh, that's a definite yes.

"I'll always love him. I've never loved anybody like that in my life. I've never ever experienced love like that. I'll always always have a love for him. That was my first true love without a doubt. And my first heartbreak."

Andi then called the break-up the "biggest failure of [her] life so far," which Chris immediately denied.

"I feel like I disappointed people," she continued. "It breaks my heart to know people rooted for us and it didn't work out. 

As for the possibility of getting back together, Andi gave a noncommittal "I don't know" when Chris asked. She was a little more optimistic about whether or not they could still be friends however, saying "I would hope so."

"Part of it is that we are really similar – that's part of the reason it didn't work. I do think it's a possibility to be friends with him. He's a huge part of my life. He's always going to be. I don't want to look back on that part of my life with regret," she said.

Even though she had just spent the past twenty minutes breaking our hearts all over again (which is NOT your fault, Andi), there was still a hint of positivity as the interview came to a close.

"Even though it's hard and I sit here and cry, I am truly grateful," she said, "My life changed forever and I just feel grateful to be a part of everything."

We wish you all the happiness in the world, Andi.