It's been four months and five days since Mila Kunis gave birth to Wyatt Isabelle Kutcher.
"But who's counting?" she asked on TBS' Conan Wednesday.
The Jupiter Ascending actress, 31, said life got better after welcoming a daughter with Ashton Kutcher. "It's the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. I've said this and I stand by it," she said. "It is great."
Conan O'Brien agreed with Mila's stance, though he was a bit distracted by her chest. "I saw a red carpet picture of you and it looked like Channing Tatum was staring at…because there are changes that the body goes through, and it looks like he's busted for staring at your breasts," the late-night host said.
After a picture of Mila and her co-star appeared onscreen, she said, "Hold on! That's awful. Here's the thing...I swear! I know him and I love him. He really wasn't. But, boy, do these things grow! I don't know how to deal with them because I've never had them, so I always dressed for a flat-chested girl, and all of a sudden I'm busty and I'm like, 'What? Check it out! This is amazing to me!' It's a whole new world."
Life is better in all sorts of ways! "Men actually look at my boobs," Mila said. "I've never had that happen before because they're just there!" Conan then joked, "I'm staring so hard at your forehead right now."
"Wait! Can you see them?" Mila asked, cupping her breasts. "Oh look! See, I have boobs, you guys!"
Mila is now dressing differently. "First of all, I needed to start wearing a bra, which was a whole new experiment for me. I was like, 'What are these things that people wear?'" she said. "Now I have to."
Conan also asked Mila if she and Ashton want their mini-me to follow in their famous footsteps.
"To say that I wouldn't allow it would be horrible, but I'd really really like for her to not be in the industry in any form," Mila admitted. "I think if it were up to him she would be the very first female professional NFL coach, specifically for the Chicago Bears, so that is what he is molding her to be."
How exactly is Ashton molding his daughter for a future in the NFL?
"By forcing her to watch football every Sunday, Monday night and Thursday night—and no, I'm not kidding, everybody!" the Friends With Benefits star said. "This child has worn a Chicago bears onesie every Sunday of her life, every Monday night of her life and every Thursday night of her life—and never twice. They are different onesies. There are tutus, one's like a cheerleader, one's a jersey, one has her name, one doesn't have her name. They are everything."
"This is intense," Conan said. "It'll either make her love all that stuff or despise it." The actress informed the comic, "She's not allowed to despise it. No, no, no, no, no! That's not going to happen in this house."
"She will love football," Mila added. "She will love football if it's the last thing she does."
Ironically, Mila hasn't always been a huge NFL fan.
"I've never watched football once—never once—until we started dating," the actress said, referring to Ashton's favorite sport. "Knew nothing about it—truly nothing—and now I know way more than I ever intended to know or anyone should know. I really don't care about football. That's the truth. But I play along and I go, 'Yay! This is great! Let's watch football.' But through osmosis you're like, "Oh, my God! Look at that running back.' There's a part of my brain that will now longer be intelligent. It's just gone."