Tom Brady, Russell Wilson, Super Bowl 2015

Jeff Gross/Joe Robbins/Getty Images; NFL

The big game is on Sunday! And even if you don't really like football or your team was brutally eliminated from the playoffs (why, Colts…why?!), you probably want to pick a team to root for. You know, for s--ts and giggles. It makes things more fun. 

So who to pick, the New England Patriots or the Seattle Seahawks, if you don't know anything about these teams or maybe you don't like either of them, but you still want to cheer for someone? Let us help you with some totally scientific, completely legitimate deciding factors.*

*Totally stupid, completely superficial 

1. Team Colors/Uniforms

Patriots, Seahawks, Superbowl, Superficial

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Patriots: Red, blue, white and silver. Their throwback uniforms are pretty sweet, too.

Seahawks: Green, grey and navy blue. But don't you dare ask about the time they wore neon green uniforms, because that was a dark time in the NFL.

2. Attractive Players

Patriots, Seahawks, Superbowl, Superficial

AP Images

Patriots: They have Tom Brady, he of model-marrying and Ugg-wearing. Logan Ryan's smile will almost definitely make you swoon. Rob Gronkowski and Julian Edelman are also not bad to look at, if you like those buff, hunky types.

Seahawks: Russell Wilson is a straight up fox, while Cooper Helfet just looks like the action movie star from your dreams. And don't you just want to run your hands through Richard Sherman's luscious locks?

For further research, just look through our gallery of the hottest guys at the 2015 Super Bowl.

3. Mascots

Patriots, Seahawks, Superbowl, Superficial

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Patriots: American as hell.

Seahawks: We have not yet confirmed if this is an actual animal.

4. Signature Foods

Patriots, Seahawks, Superbowl, Superficial

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Patriots: Chowdah (not Chowder), lobster rolls and maple syrup.

Seahawks: Some of the freshest seafood you'll have in your life. Oh, and this is where Starbucks was started. That counts for something, right?

5. Notable Natives of the Cities

Patriots, Seahawks, Superbowl, Superficial

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Patriots (we're going to just assign Boston for this one): Ben Affleck, Uma Thurman, Louis C.K., Chris Evans, Jenny Slate, James Taylor, John Krasinski, Leonard Nimoy, Edgar Allan Poe, Benjamin Franklin and five U.S. Presidents.

Seahawks: Bill Gates, Sir Mix-a-Lot, Chris Pratt, Jimi Hendrix, Carol Channing, Kenny G, Rainn Wilson and Adam West.

6. TV Shows Set in the Cities

Patriots, Seahawks, Superbowl, Superficial

ABC; NBC

Patriots/Boston: Cheers, Ally McBeal, St. Elsewhere, Rizzoli and Isles, Boston Legal and Sabrina, the Teenage Witch

Seahawks: Twin Peaks, iCarly, Weeds, Grey's Anatomy, Frasier, The Killing and Private Practice

7. Musical Influence of the Cities

Patriots, Seahawks, Superbowl, Superficial

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Patriots/Boston: Ska-punk, New Kids on the Block, Boston (the band) and it's known as one the birthplaces of hardcore punk

Seahawks: Grunge, duh. But Seattle also is all about that indie music scene.

So based on these totally legitimate and extremely sport-related facts…who is your superficial pick as the winner of the 2015 Super Bowl?

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