Revenge

ABC

Good evening, fellow TV lovahs.

We took some time out of our epic Friends rewatch to pretend that this several week-long break from all of our favorite shows hasn't deeply affected our souls. Oh, Revenge is back? That's cool. Maybe we'll watch it, maybe we won't, and we certainly haven't spent the past few Sunday nights at 10 curled up in the fetal position, because we are not that pathetic.

Kidding. We're exactly that pathetic, but we're also super excited to bring you our very first rants and raves of 2015.  

RANT: Revenge: We spent the past few weeks quietly ignoring the fact that Daniel Grayson had died, so of course tonight's episode just had to start right where the midseason finale left off, with Daniel lying dead on the floor. Then we find out that the official story has to be that Daniel attacked Emily and she shot him in self-defense. It got even worse when Margaux decided that Emily had actually murdered Daniel, and got Victoria to let her ban Emily from the funeral.

And then Victoria imagining helping Daniel with his tie while she was actually just standing there alone, holding a suit? We can't. We don't even like these people all that much, but all this misery is almost too much to take.

RAVE: Revenge: Oh hey Malcolm Black (Tommy Flanagan). You're already very very scary and we're kind of excited about it.

RANT: Revenge: Just get out, Louise! Leave! We don't want you here and we never did! 

Celebrity Apprentice

NBC

RANT: Celebrity Apprentice: We were barely five minutes into the season before we had Donald Trump asking Gilbert Gottfried if he believed in global warming even though he was "freezing his ass off." Trump also later yelled very angrily for someone to get Vivica Fox some Kleenex. Welcome back, ridiculous show filled with ridiculous people.

RAVE: Celebrity Apprentice: We now have a craving for pie and a strange desire to hang out with both Kevin Jonas and Gilbert Gottfried, at the same time. We do not, however, want to hang out with Kate Gosselin, no matter how skilled she is at making large amounts of food for large numbers of people.  

RAVE: Celebrity Apprentice: Best intro line from Sharknado and 90210 star Ian Ziering: "I'm used to fighting flying sharks falling out of the sky, so I think I have what it takes to win Celebrity Apprentice."

????: Celebrity Apprentice: We know this was filmed months ago, but the whole argument about whether Keshia Knight Pulliam should have called her TV dad Bill Cosby for money was crazy uncomfortable anyway. The fact that she was then fired partly for that reason made it even worse. 

Downton Abbey

PBS

RANT: Downton Abbey: All this time has passed and all these people are still dealing with the same drama? When will Thomas lay off Baxter?

RAVE: Downton Abbey: While we never like to see Lady Edith in danger, that fire was sure one way to get us back into the world of Downton Abbey.

RAVE: Downton Abbey: Here's to Lady Mary taking chances with Lord Gillingham! Although it's Downton Abbey, so this will not likely end well.

RAVE: Downton Abbey: Violet and Isobel forever. We love this friendship.

RAVE: The Good Wife: What kind of trouble has Kalinda gotten herself into now? Check out our recap here!

RAVE: Galavant: We will never rant about Psych's Timothy Omundson as the sassiest king we've ever seen, and the rest of the premiere was pretty good too. Tell us what you thought about ABC's newest series here.

RAVE: Real Housewives of Atlanta: Hasn't Kandi Burress learned her lesson that talking about sex with girlfriends never turns out as planned? Although we never condone cheating, we kind of loved watching that awkward moment when Demetria McKinney found out her so-called boyfriend Roger Bob wasn't exactly faithful. But let's be real, we're really just looking forward to next week's cast trip to Puerto Rico that looks drama-filled as ever.

So what did you watch tonight? Rant and rave with us in the comments! 

CLICK: How to fake like you watch any TV show

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