Who would've thought the one celebrity to shed sufficient light on the plight of the paparazzi'd A-listers would be Bruce Willis? (We had Lindsay Lohan in the office pool.) Not only is the poor little rich man so disoriented by the flashes he actually bids the Koi snappers a good night, but he's also reduced to speaking in tongues. You know, like Ashton on a good day.  

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