Heir-y Harry, Quite Contrary: For some, it would qualify as a summer fling, but for Lindsay Lohan, a three-month relationship with Harry Morton counts as a long-term relationship. In any case, the tabs are reporting it was too long for hotel heir Morton, who reportedly couldn't deal with the drama overload and dumped the mercurial actress. Which prompts Star to wonder if she's "doomed to wind up as Lindsay Lonely?" Apparently not, if she can help it. Lohan was out on the scene three days after her dump-ola, getting cozy with ex Stavros Niarchos (for those keeping score, he's the Greek billionaire of last resort, having also previously dated Paris Hilton and Mary-Kate Olsen). But Us Weekly's source says Lindsay's rebound routine is just a way of "using Stavros to make Harry jealous." Note to L.L.: When a guy can't take any more drama, playing another scene isn't going to win him back.
--Queen Latifah in Star. Right on, Latifah. Discretion is the better part of valor--and amore!
Though he's looking as old as Taylor Hicks these days, mega-bachelor George Clooney is still a babe magnet. At the Ocean's Thirteen wrap party at Pure in Vegas, Clooney and Deal or No Deal model Nancy Stelmaszczyk were reportedly smooching and left together out the back door around 3:15 a.m. "What happens in Vegas...Ends Up in the Enquirer," one tab crowed. It also ended up in Star. But In Touch says Clooney's "date" was actually his looker publicist, Shara Koplowitz. Knowing smooth operator Clooney, however, we wouldn't put it past him to be wooing both the comely flack and the TV suitcase wrangler.
--Man of the world Ben Affleck knows a thing or three about the old boom, boom, bing, boom. But here in Us he's talking about changing diapers
"Hollywood's Bone Brigade":  Seeing this head in Star we thought it was another story about George Clooney's dating habits. But it's actually an update on straw-thin stars like as Kate Bosworth, Keira Knightley and Victoria Beckham--and the models who make them look like heifers! Sadly, curvy supermodels like Cindy Crawford have given way to Kate Moss' waif look, which in turn has given way to even thinner "waifers" who are taking scary-skinny to the next level of hell. It's clearly a case where less is moronic. And People's cover story amplifies on the topic nicely with celeb quotes ("There's pressure to stay thin for every actress and, unfortunately, every American woman," says Debra Messing) as well as Portia De Rossi's first-person tale of overcoming anorexia. Big changes may be coming after all. Many are seeing the wisdom of Madrid Fashion Week's recent decision to ban the waifers. "There's nothing healthy, sexy or fashionable about stick-thin models," Shape magazine editor Valerie Latona tells Star. "Yes, ban them from the runway--and give them a sandwich."
--Dane Cook in Us, on a movie idea for his crush Halle Berry. Perhaps he should just pitch a movie called Coitus--oh, but that would likely wind up as a comedy short. And come to think of it, Catwoman is better than any movie Cook has been in. Witness his star turn in Mr. 3000--as the voice of the Sausage Mascot
Helmet Hair Hath No Fury: Seeing that Vanity Fair cover made it clear that Suri Cruise is one of the most beautiful babies in the world. Now, Star is proving it's more than just her movie-star genes--it's the hair! Touting Suri's furry 'do as "The Season's New Hairdo: It's the Suri Crop," the mag slaps her locks on passel of celebs. Not surprisingly, mom Katie looks fab with TomKitten tresses, but equally fetching are Jessica Simpson, Lindsay Lohan and Mischa Barton. And even the Donald looks like a billion with the Suri fringed on top.
--Jack Nicholson in Us. Is it just us, or is there something a tad jacked-up about an old dog desperately trying to learn some new tricks?
Who's Afraid of the Big Brad Wolf? The rugrats might not have known who he was, but the mom's at Storyopolis kids' book store in Studio City certainly recognized studly dad Brad Pitt when he stopped in to buy a few books for son Maddox. The National Enquirer reports that Pitt strolled in during a reading, which he silently urged to continue. The storytelling lady encouraged kids and parents to act out roles in the story. That's when Pitt jumped in, volunteering to play the Big Bad Wolf, doing so with such gusto he won applause from kids and parental units alike. Two words: Oscar buzz.
--Rosie O'Donnell, speaking about Oprah on The View, in Star. Rosie went on to play it safe by adding, "Everybody might be a little bit gay." Yeah, but we're just not doing it--just like Rosie! Wait, did that come out wrong?
Getting Jiggly Wid It: The latest Hollywood fitness juggernaut is actually a jigglenaut. Fitness guru Gunner Peterson tells Us Weekly he uses a vibrating apparatus that he says helps engage more muscles during lifts and calisthenics to "make workouts more challenging." Peterson has used the $11,900 VibraFlex to challenge celebs like Penélope Cruz, J.Lo and Avril Lavigne. Following Gunnar's lead, there are plenty of ways to up the fitness ante to make regular workouts more difficult. What's next, motocross aerobics? Weight-lifting on the half-pipe? But come to think of it, most Californians already have a vibrating exercise platform at their disposal--it's called the San Andreas Fault.
--Christina Aguilera getting down on ditzy celebutantes in Star. And some women might skeeve themselves up and get all dirrty for the very same reason. Tragic
Wan Solo: Brothers and Sisters star Calista Flockhart was worried when she approached her SUV outside the soundstage and saw two security guards banging on the back windows. According to the Enquirer, the guards explained that some old guy had crawled into her back seat and fallen sleep. Calista giggled as her man, Harrison Ford, awoke from the ruckus looking disheveled. The guards swiftly backpedaled, with one telling Ford, "We are so sorry, we didn't know it was you!" Apparently Ford didn't take it personally. He reportedly crawled into the front passenger seat and was asleep again before Flockhart had even steered them out of the parking lot. Seems like he's just dreaming of a new flick: Indiana Jones and the Temple of Ambien.
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