ABC/Mitchell HaasethWelcome to Thursdays, where everything is sad. All our favorite couples are falling apart. No one can find love. People are being murdered. It's a mess, and it's amazing. Welcome to our Rants and Raves!
RANT: How to Get Away with Murder: Bonnie, Bonnie, Bonnie. We would have never guessed you were so sketchy. Turns out Lilah had come to Annalise's door to tell her everything, but she only got to Bonnie. Bonnie didn't want to ruin her boss's relationship any further, so she refused to tell Annalise she was there. She did, however, alert Sam (meaning he did know Lilah was pregnant), who then decided to kiss her, because he is absolute scum. Bonnie admitted all of this, and Annalise promptly fired her.
RAVE: HTGAWM: Finally, Annalise is done with her husband's crap. She got a judge to order a DNA test from every man in Lilah's life, including her teachers. This dude is going down. Obviously, we know how very far down he goes, but it's nice to imagine that we might also get some real justice against this jerkface before that mysterious someone murders him next week!
RANT: HTGAWM: Bonnie's not the only Keating employee who sort of sucks: Frank's got a girlfriend, and a bad habit of picking a "student of the month." Frank's a jackass! Team Laurel all the way!
RANT: HTGAWM: Wes knows Rebecca's been helping Nate and he is not happy about it. If Harry Potter's Dean Thomas and The Killing's Rosie Larsen can't make it, who can?!
RANT: Scandal: We know Huck hasn't ever actually gotten to act like a dad, and that he's not tremendously emotionally stable, but how could he possibly think it was a good idea to bring Javi to the Elizabeth North stakeout? Not only did it end in murder, but Huck and Quinn discovered that Lizzie is having an affair with the VP, who is also seemingly back to having an affair with Mellie! Definitely not kid-appropriate stuff, and definitely not good for Huck's relationship with his son.
RAVE: Scandal: Someday, people will stop trying to put one over on Papa Pope because clearly, that man is a mastermind to end all masterminds. Just when Olivia, Fitz, Jake, and David thought they had Command right where they wanted him, they found that the supposedly damning B613 files were blank, the snipers were all being taken out, and Rowan was telling Olivia that she was about to find out how much worse the world is without him. Is it what we wanted to happen? Not at all, but damn that was some good TV.
RANT: Scandal: Olitz is creepy. They creep us out. We do not rejoice when Fitz demands that Liv kisses him in the bunker. We're tired of time seeming to slow to an excruciating pace while these two look at each other's noses because eye contact would make their sex organs explode. We do not fan ourselves, we do not swoon. We make faces like this, instead:
SORRY NOT SORRY.
RANT: The Vampire Diaries: Just when it looked like things were looking up – Elena was trying to remember Damon, Bonnie had a chance to get out of 1994, and Stefan found out that Caroline "had a thing" for him – everything got sad and terrible. Caroline hates Stefan for leaving and being a jerk, Damon decided that Elena's better off without him and her memories, Bonnie decided to trap her magic in a teddy bear to keep Kai from getting to it, and we ran out of ice cream. Life sucks.
RAVE: The Vampire Diaries: At least puny humans Jo and Alaric seem to be doing very, very well. Is it totally naïve to put all of our eggs into the Jolaric basket in the absence of any other happy couples?
RAVE: The Vampire Diaries: Who asks why someone had a thing for them? What kind of question is that? At least Caroline's answer was positively perfect: "I don't know Stefan, maybe I thought you were worth having a thing for." (Stefan, how dare you screw this up?!)
RAVE: The Vampire Diaries: Damon's joy at finding Bonnie's teddy bear and knowing that she was still alive is weirdly one of the few things still keeping us going on this show. He hugged that bear in a way we would definitely not mind also being hugged by Damon Salvatore. Or Ian Somerhalder.
RANT: Grey's Anatomy: Dr. McJerk is right! After the daughter of a patient revealed that she knew Amelia from Narcotics Anonymous – and that Amelia was responsible for her own boyfriend's death due to overdose – Derek was not quick to defend his sister. In fact, he couldn't even speak up for her when Owen questioned whether she was right for her position. He later did speak up, admitting that he had just wanted his old job back, but he also admitted that he doesn't know who he is anymore, and can't seem to stop hurting everyone he loves. We so miss the old Derek, but at least he's aware he has a problem.
RAVE: Parenthood: Poor Max! He put his heart on the line only to get shut down in that all too familiar way. However much we'd like to kill the friendzone myth, his mother's joy at seeing her son express such strong emotions was totally tearjerking in the best way.
RAVE: Parenthood: Drew's love for his sister makes us feel all cozy inside.
RANT: Reign: We love Francis and Mary as a powerful partnership, so him lying to her about this whole Narcisse blackmail business is crushing us. We'd actually be mad if the acting and chemistry weren't so incredible to the point of distracting us completely from our own hopes and dreams.
So what did you watch tonight? Rant and rave with us in the comments!