American Horror Story, Freak Show

FX

The biggest clown club in America has a bone to pick with Ryan Murphy. And it's not about how Glee went seriously downhill after season one. (What? It's true. Jesse St. James forever and all that.)

Clowns of America International is quite perturbed over the portrayal of clowns on American Horror Story: Freak Show. You guys know Twisty, right?

Twisty the Clown GIF

There he is.

Well, apparently that horrifying version of a clown isn't sitting well with the folks who make clowning around their business.

"Hollywood makes money sensationalizing the norm," Glenn Kohlberger, president of Clowns of America International, tells The Hollywood Reporter. "They can take any situation no matter how good or pure and turn it into a nightmare. We do not support in any way, shape or form any medium that sensationalizes or adds to coulrophobia or 'clown fear.'"

Glenn, we get where you are coming from, but there are two major problems with your complaint.

First of all, clowns have been the stars of horror movies/scenarios/nightmares for years and years. It? Poltergeist? Killer Klowns From Space? The Joker from Batman? Camp Blood? Camp Blood 2? Those red-nosed creatures from hell have been torturing our psyches for a long time, so why are they coming down on American Horror Story now?

If anything, you need to blame John Wayne Gacy, who was basically Twisty the Clown for real back in the 1970s. He was a clown performer named Pogo and he also murdered over 30 boys, which gave him the nickname Killer Clown.

Second, and most importantly of all:  Clowns are scary regardless of context. It does not matter if said clown is meant to be a serial killer or just a performer at a child's birthday party. Clowns are creepy. There is no getting around that. It is not American Horror Story's fault. Clowns have been terrorizing people before AHS: Freak Show, and they will be terrorizing people long after the final episode of American Horror Story: European Gigolo airs. (That's what we imagine Ryan Murphy will call his last season of the FX anthology series).

Look, we understand that the Clowns of America International doesn't want their organization to be associated with a deranged TV character who kills people with scissors, but like we said, it wouldn't matter if Twisty was a nice, normal clown who did stuff like volunteered at a children's hospital and read to the elderly. Or volunteered at an elderly hospital and read to children. Whatever.

Clowns are scary as f--k. And no boycotting, bashing or online petition will change that.

It just doesn't matter what type of clown you're dealing with! They will be scary. Look:

This clown?

Clown

Getty Images

Scary.

This clown?

Clown

Getty Images

Scary.

This clown?

Clown

Getty Images

Also scary.

This clown?

Female Clown

Getty Images

Still scary.

These clowns?

Clown

Getty Images

Clown

iStock

Clown

Getty Images

ALL SCARY.

Sorry, present and future Clowns of the World.

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