Kim Kardashian

Alexandra Wyman/

Jimmy Kimmel won't be hosting the 2007 ESPY Awards until tonight. But for the past three days, athletes, their wives and sports-loving celebs have been indulging in swag and mojitos at the Mondrian Hotel.

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The entire 11th floor of the chic West Hollywood lodging is devoted to swag. There are gifting suites with sunglasses, watches, cigars and even surgery certificates at the Laser Eye Center of Silicon Valley—those athletes need good eyesight, right? But sports stars like Terrell "T.O." Owens are superexcited about the $500 certificates being given away by Zappos. "We carry their size," the online shoes and accessories vendor explains. "These athletes wear size 14 or 15 shoes, and that's hard to find in stores." No wonder bigfoot Shaquille O'Neal gets his kicks customized.

Reality stars like Brody Jenner bask in their extended five minutes of fame by asking for just about every free goody. But Brody's step-sis Kim Kardashian has a better plan. She poses for pics in her chic Express mini (I wore it in gold to Lance's party!) then waits for a swag delivery. That's right, Kim's gifts are dropped off at her doorstep. "I take Kim anything she wants," Retribution designer Omid Lari tells me, explaining that his trendy clothing line grew with Kim as her fame soared. Now, everyone wears his tanks and sweats. Lindsay Lohan even rocked a Retribution anchor hoodie to rehab.

Jason Biggs

Alexandra Wyman/

I pass a very tame Mike Tyson to talk to a very sweaty Jason Biggs. The American Pie funnyman just competed in the ESPY Golf Classic and is cooling down with a mojito in the Bacardi room. "I played like crap, but it was awesome," he says of the tournament that raised a record $1.3 million for the V Foundation for Cancer Research. While we're talking, Keenan Thompson is causing mint to fly everywhere. Bacardi brought a bartender to teach guests how to make the perfect mojito but Keenan gets right into it without a lesson. It looks like fun, but who knows how his concoction tastes?

Kenan Thompson

Matthew Simmons/

The suite is comparable to those during awards season—there's just football players' wives instead of actresses sitting in the TIGI and Bed Hair Care chairs and basketballers instead of leading men getting cleaned up by the Shave of Beverly Hills. But there's definitely much more testosterone on tap here. "A lot of penis and beer drinking," Biggs jests, managing to keep a totally straight face. "I much prefer it [the ESPYs] to the Oscars, where it's all a bunch of girls and s--t." Even though he's joking, I'd have to agree. Being surrounded by famed Colts quarterback Peyton Manning, the Cowboys' Julius Jones and rapper T.I. is more than fine by me.

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