Courtesy of Lifetime
by Lauren Piester | Sun., Sep. 7, 2014 9:00 PM
Courtesy of Lifetime
This weekend we said another sad goodbye to Brittany Murphy with Lifetime's newest biopic, The Brittany Murphy Story, and we kind of wish we hadn't.
We like to operate under the assumption that quality of fake hair denotes quality of the media itself, indicating that this movie might be the worst one that Lifetime has ever made. But was it actually the worst Lifetime movie ever made?
Just in the past few years, there have been a good number of biopics supposedly telling the true story of some high-profile person or crime. They range from good-ish to truly horrendous, and we've ranked nine of the most recent atrocities from best-worst to worst-worst.
Read on to see where the both The Brittany Murphy Story and last week's Unauthorized Saved by the Bell Story land on the list!
1. Anna Nicole (2013)
Who wasn't totally engrossed in the tragic story of Playboy model/tabloid fixture Anna Nicole Smith? While the movie was actually a fairly polished retelling of Smith's life and death, including the birth of her daughter and the death of her son, that was pretty much all it was. There wasn't a lot of exploration below the surface, but were you expecting more from a Lifetime movie? We hated it but we also loved it.
2. Liz & Dick (2012)
Lindsay Lohan as Elizabeth Taylor? We were so in, and then we couldn't tell if we were pleased or disappointed when it was definitely just a typical Lifetime movie. Lohan's acting left a lot to be desired, but it's not like we were expecting a great, Oscar-worthy comeback. We can't say we regret the two wine-drenched hours we spent staring at beautiful costumes and listening to delightfully overwrought dialogue, however, so we guess it's not all bad.
3. Amanda Knox: Murder on Trial in Italy (2011)
Hayden Panettiere starred as Amanda Knox, who was accused of murdering her Italian roommate in the midst of a raging sex-and-drugs binge while studying abroad. The filmmakers clearly had strong opinions on this case, and that opinion was that Knox was guilty as all get out, and also a total brat. At one point, she described her situation as a murder suspect as "just so random, ya know?"
4. Unauthorized Saved by the Bell Story (2014)
It's no secret that we were somewhat disappointed by this movie. It wasn't actually all that bad, we guess, but who ever asked for a "behind the scenes" movie from the perspective of Dustin Diamond? And where were all of the juicy secrets? The most scandalous parts of the movie paled in comparison to everything we were promised, and it was quite a let-down.
5. House of Versace (2013)
After several years of Donatella Versace being played to perfection by Maya Rudolph on SNL, Gina Gershon just couldn't cut it, and neither could the script for this fairly terrible movie. As Variety put it, "It's the kind of melodramatic TV movie that has one pining for more wire hangers." Yikes.
6. Prosecuting Casey Anthony (2013)
Lifetime clearly took a stance with this retelling of the investigation and trial after the death of Caylee Anthony. The story is told from the perspective of prosecutor Jeff Ashton, played by Rob Lowe, and he comes off as sort of an idiot. The movie doesn't try to make any decisions about Casey Anthony's guilt, but doesn't try to do much else either. We want more emotional drama from our Lifetime movies!
7. Drew Peterson: Untouchable (2012)
Do you like Rob Lowe? Do you want to not like Rob Lowe anymore? Do you like to watch movies without endings? Do you like bad hair? Do you want to watch Chris Traeger abuse Penny from the Big Bang Theory? Do you like to watch movies about guys who most likely murder women and show off their anatomy to their children? Then Drew Peterson: Untouchable is the movie for you!
8. The Brittany Murphy Story (2014)
Murphy's dad expressed his total unhappiness with this "tribute" to the late actress, and we sort of wish we had listened to him. Pros: the casting of fake Ashton Kutcher and his trucker hats. Cons: The "Alicia Silverstone" wig, which actually worked to overshadow the terribleness of everything else. We're just going to watch Clueless and rollin'-with-the-homies ourselves to sleep and try to forget having subjected ourselves to such sadness.
9. William & Kate (2011)
This movie, about the relationship between Prince William and Kate Middleton, was universally panned, and complaints seemed to understandably revolve around America's complete misunderstanding of the United Kingdom. The Guardian's exact words were "so bad it's awful, toe-curlingly, teeth-furringly, pillow-bitingly ghastly." The London Evening Standard agreed, saying, "It is recognisably a film, in that it takes place on a screen. Events run in a forward direction."
So what did you guys think of The Brittany Murphy Story? How would you rank these Lifetime biopics? Let us know in the comments!
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