Timothy White/E!We lost a wonderful voice in the entertainment and comedic world, as Joan Rivers has sadly passed away at the age of 81. And even though she had been on life support for a few days before she died, we still felt unprepared for the loss.
But Joan had been prepared for this day for a while, apparently, because she left specific and hilarious instructions for her funeral service in her book, I Hate Everyone...Starting with Me, published in 2012.
And though we are mourning, we are taking the lead from Melissa Rivers, who said after Joan's passing that her mom's "greatest joy in life" was to make people laugh, and that her final wish would be to "return to laughing soon."
And with that sentiment in mind, we are returning to the laughter that Joan so deeply loved with her requests for her funeral, and they are as outrageous and as Joan Rivers-y as you would expect:
1. Melissa Rivers gets it all.
"When I die (and yes, Melissa, that day will come; and yes, Melissa, everything's in your name)…"
2. She wants her funeral to be an event.
"I want my funeral to be a huge showbiz affair with lights, cameras, action. I want Craft services, I want paparazzi and I want publicists making a scene! I want it to be Hollywood all the way."
3. No rabbis. Only Meryl.
"I don't want some rabbi rambling on; I want Meryl Streep crying, in five different accents."
4. Feel free to use her as a prop.
"I don't want a eulogy; I want Bobby Vinton to pick up my head and sing 'Mr. Lonely.'"
5. It's all about fashion to the very end.
"I want to look gorgeous, better dead than I do alive. I want to be buried in a Valentino gown and I want Harry Winston to make me a toe tag."
6. Finally, it always comes back to Beyoncé.
"And I want a wind machine so that even in the casket my hair is blowing like Beyoncé's."
Rest in peace, Joan. And here's hoping you get everything you want for your funeral and then some.