9 Types of Photos You Would Find If You Hacked My iCloud

Everyone is probably thinking about what hackers would see if they broke into your photo database, so I'm just showing off my own

By Jenna Mullins Sep 03, 2014 4:50 PMTags

Confession: I'm not sure how the iCloud works. But since nude photos of Jennifer Lawrence and other female celebs were taken from the iCloud and released to the world, it probably got a lot of people thinking: "If someone hacked into my iCloud, what would they find?" I know I definitely thought it.

And in the interest of full disclosure, I'm actually answering that question with real photos I found on my iCloud that I did not mean to be shared publically. Until now, of course. So for any hackers out there, sorry. This is what you would find:

1. My pets

My iCloud is absolutely, without a doubt about 89 percent photos of my two cats: Glenn and Zelda. I mean, look at how Glenn sits sometimes! How could I not have hundreds of photos of this ball of fluff? Any hackers will give up on finding anything scandalous after the 107th photo of Glenn and Zelda sleeping on a chair together.

2. Unsuitable selfies

Remember, for every beautiful selfie you see out there, there are at least 19 selfies that the user deemed unworthy for social media in their iCloud. I didn't like what my hair was doing in this one. And it's super-blurry. And I'm not looking at the camera, am I? Selfies are hard, you guys.

3. Photos of my family

These photos would be the ones that would piss me off most if they got uploaded without my consent. I have photos of nieces and nephew in there, and obviously I'm not going to post them here. But for example's sake, above is a photo of me and my sisters at Christmas from like two years ago. My mom took it. Heaven forbid the tree isn't the main attraction of this photo. Who cares if we are off-center? Jeez, mom.

4. Photos of my boyfriend

He's cute. I take lots of photos of him. Most of those photos also include a cat.

5. Pics of what I'm eating or about to eat.

I love shaved ice, y'all. Hope the hacker enjoys all the photos of shaved ice I send to people on a weekly basis. I don't even change the flavor of syrup! It's all cherry and blue raspberry. That's how boring I am.

6.  Nerdy stuff.

For example, I'm obsessed with The Legend of Zelda. (See the name of one of my cats). I have a lot of Zelda paraphernalia, like a life-size replica of the Master Sword and Hylian Shield that I got as an anniversary gift from my boyfriend. Told you I was a nerd. All that paraphernalia is well documented on The Cloud.

7. Work stuff.

Sometimes for work I get to do cool stuff, and obviously I take lots of photos. Like one time I got to visit the set of The Office to celebrate its final season. I took so many photos of that entire day. I posted most of them to social media, but some I probably thought would be too boring for anyone else but me. This is one my friend took of me at Jim Halpert's desk. I don't know why I kept it private; maybe because I knew one day I'd be married to John Krasinski and I wanted to surprise him with it? That's probably it.

8. My friends.

There are definitely photos on my iCloud of me and my friends doing stuff like trying to take a photo of ourselves in front of a sign before we go hiking. Riveting as hell, I know.

9. Photos of my cats.

I know I already mentioned this, but any excuse to post photos of my cats!  Look how cute my little Zelda is!

What kind of scandalous or very non-scandalous photos would a hacker find if they got into your iCloud?