Michael Buckner/Getty ImagesAs if first dates aren't awkward enough, imagine having that date put on blast by a celebrity and his 936,000 Twitter followers. If you're a woman named Tracey (spelling yet to be verified) who recently went on a date with a guy you met online, you may be living that nightmare.
Colton Haynes, of Arrow and Teen Wolf fame, was just trying to live his life and eat some dinner when his meal was interrupted by one of the most awkward first dates ever. Since everyone loves a good live tweeting event, Haynes took to social media to document the adventures.
Everything starts off pretty normal, except maybe for the fact that this couple is meeting for the first time in the presence of a famous actor.
I am sitting next to the a couple on their 1st date who met online and it's a conversation I have to live tweet about right now. Stay tuned
? Colton Haynes (@ColtonLHaynes) August 7, 2014The guy decides honestly is the best policy and he is very, very, uh, honest.
He's currently explaining to her the amount of women he's hooked up with after the first date...it's a lot
? Colton Haynes (@ColtonLHaynes) August 7, 2014Then he drops a bomb. Thankfully, Haynes is there to educate and inform.
O god...he's still married
? Colton Haynes (@ColtonLHaynes) August 7, 2014Haynes considers switching to a secret live stream, but probably deems it too risky.
She keeps tossing her hair...I honestly think she's into it. They r now discussing name pronunciation...I have to secretly film this
? Colton Haynes (@ColtonLHaynes) August 7, 2014Apparently, Haynes isn't the only one attempting to eavesdrop on this encounter.
She needs to speak up...now multiple ppl are trying to listen. I'm alone so I guess they have a one up on me but this needs to be documented
? Colton Haynes (@ColtonLHaynes) August 7, 2014The date starts heading south...
HE JUST CALLED HER THE WRONG NAME!!! After 30 mins of their date, he called her Terry...her name is Tracey
? Colton Haynes (@ColtonLHaynes) August 7, 2014...but Haynes is fearless in his reporting.
Thk god he just peed...he's back. Cue Tracey leaving to the bathroom. Might I add, she didn't check her phone once, he just got on his
? Colton Haynes (@ColtonLHaynes) August 7, 2014Aaaaand we've finally got a name for Tracey's date: it's Dan (verified by absolutely no one, but c'mon, he's such a Dan).
Let's just name him Dan...he looks like a Dan. I am now staying at dinner to see if his horrible lines work...why am I so invested?
? Colton Haynes (@ColtonLHaynes) August 7, 2014Haynes realizes what may have enticed Tracey. Swag recognizes swag.
Dan has a mullet...and a beard...2 things that could be love blinding Tracey...hurry the hell up Tracey, Jesus, the audience is waiting...
? Colton Haynes (@ColtonLHaynes) August 7, 2014And then is nearly enticed himself. Look for any casting updates on IMDb!
O shit...Dan is a director...should I make my presence known? #GodIhopeIgetIt
? Colton Haynes (@ColtonLHaynes) August 7, 2014Honestly though, Tracey is making this unnecessarily difficult for all involved parties.
Seriously Tracey...seriously???!!! Why u gotta make this hard on me,speak up and NEVER lean in when Dan goes for the "arm around chair" move
? Colton Haynes (@ColtonLHaynes) August 7, 2014Not sure what Tracey ordering a glass of water has to do with anything, but Haynes switches to #TeamDan for a split second.
She just ordered a water. Was #TeamTracey but I think she's the coocoo 1. Dan is probs the swaggiest 60 yr old I've seen around these parts
? Colton Haynes (@ColtonLHaynes) August 7, 2014For a fleeting moment, Haynes has a reflective moment in which he considers feeling bad about this breach of privacy...Then, no, nope. Not feeling anything.
They r currently talkin about their current/past relationships and I'm now getting sad that I'm putting this on display...ok not anymore
? Colton Haynes (@ColtonLHaynes) August 7, 2014Meanwhile, Dan starts to get a little sketchy...
Dan just said "There's a girl here that I call my cousin...but she's not my cousin, she's my ex girlfriend." I'm dying laughing
? Colton Haynes (@ColtonLHaynes) August 7, 2014...and admits to DATING HIS SECOND COUSIN.
U guys...I am now sweatin laughing. I'm a terrible person but he just said he dated his second cousin once. I SWEAR ON MY LIFE HE SAID THAT
? Colton Haynes (@ColtonLHaynes) August 7, 2014He has a mullet, so I'm not sure why we're all so shocked.
Can we get the production team in here because our mic levels are seriously off and Tracey is basically nonexistent at this point.
Someone needs to turn Tracey's imaginary mic up cause Dan is bout to be the breakout star of this twitter show...
? Colton Haynes (@ColtonLHaynes) August 7, 2014Haynes decides to hit us with some life advice. And thank goodness, because we were just about to go on a date with a guy named Dan!
1. Tracey is prob gonna go home wit "Dan"
2. Ladies...don't go home with guys like "Dan"
3. Live tweet 1st dates without ppl knowin.
? Colton Haynes (@ColtonLHaynes) August 7, 2014Dan's clearly got some health issues though, so Tracey starts to distance herself.
Dan just said "my feet hurt all the time"...TRACEY ASKED FOR THE CHECK!!! Hell yes Tracey!
? Colton Haynes (@ColtonLHaynes) August 7, 2014She's not trying to get tied down by someone whose feet hurt all the time.
Can I get a moment of silence to see how's this is gonna end...................shhhhh
? Colton Haynes (@ColtonLHaynes) August 7, 2014THE SUSPENSE.
In a bold and potentially reckless move, Haynes follows them out of the restaurant to document their departures. Luckily, Tracey didn't fall for any of Dan's slick moves.
No joke, I just followed them out (without paying yet) and Tracey just peaced out!!! Tracey-1, Dan-0!!!! Note to self: Do this more often...
? Colton Haynes (@ColtonLHaynes) August 7, 2014Tracey and Dan, you've made one famous man very, very happy.
Sorry Tracey and "Dan" but I just had to get that on record. Im payin my bill now with a smile on my face. Thk you!
? Colton Haynes (@ColtonLHaynes) August 7, 2014We're absolutely terrified to think how the world would react if Colton Haynes live tweeted some of our first dates. Hopefully we never find out. And hopefully we never end up on an Internet date with a guy who dates his second cousins.