My Parents Open Carry

Whatever happened to just reading kids Goodnight, Moon before bed? Or teaching the all-important lessons from Everybody Poops?

Well, for those of you out there who are struggling with talking to your children about the Second Amendment and open carry and why hoards of men and women are walking into Applebee's, Target and Chipotle with AK-47s and immediately asked to leave, then this book is for you? Maybe?

My Parents Open Carry was written by Brian Jeffs and Nathan Nephew, the two cofounders of Michigan Open Carry. The cover was designed by someone who we assume gets off on frightening children with his or her creepy, dead-eye drawings of humans. 

Brian and Nathan decided to pen an open carry book because they "looked for pro-gun children's books and couldn't find any."

That's probably because the number of gun accidents that wound or kill children each year are in the tens of thousands, which is why most authors frown upon making a firearm the star of a kid's book. 

The synopsis for My Parents Open Carry is as follows:

Come join 13-year-old Brenna Strong along with her mom, Bea, and her dad, Richard, as they spend a typical Saturday running errands and having fun together. What's not so typical is that Brenna's parents lawfully open carry handguns for self-defense. The Strongs join a growing number of families that are standing up for their 2nd Amendment rights by open carrying and bringing gun ownership out of the closet and into the mainstream.

How come no one is pointing out the biggest problem with this book? What kind of parents would let their 13-year-old girl go out in a blouse like that?!

If you order now, you get My Parents Open Carry for the discounted price of $9.99. But wait! There's more! For a limited time you will also get a free copy of a book by some dude named Doug Giles called Raising Boys Feminists Will Hate! We wish we were making up that book, but alas, it is very, very real:

Parent, if you have a young son and you want him to grow up to be a man, then you need to keep him away from pop culture, public school and a lot of Nancy Boy churches. If metrosexual pop culture, feminized public schools and the effeminate branches of evanjellycalism lay their sissy hands on him, you can kiss his masculinity good-bye because they will morph him into a dandy. Yeah, mom and dad, if – if – you dare to raise your boy as a classic boy in this castrated epoch, then you've got a task that's more difficult than getting a drunk to hit the urinal at Chili's. Read this bold and hard-hitting guide by Doug Giles, the politically incorrect master, on how to raise your son in a world which more and more seems to hate masculinity.

Two books for the price of one? That's a deal you can't pass up. But what those prices don't include is the amount of money your child will have to pay in therapy bills when they're an adult because these were the books they read growing up.

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