Sex Spreadsheet

"Honey, I have a headache" just wouldn't do!

One 26-year-old woman came up with plenty of better excuses than that for avoiding intimacy with her husband. And for seven weeks her husband, also 26, used an Excel spreadsheet to document his wife's varying reasons for not having sex with him.

If we're to believe this piece of reddit lore at face value, the disgruntled husband emailed his wife this "immature, inflammatory" spreadsheet as she was "driving to the airport for a 10-day work trip." Naturally, she posted it to /r/relationships, eliciting a range of responses (many NSFW) from hundreds of redditors, most of whom empathized with the man feeling neglected in the boudoir.

PHOTOS: Celeb couples in love!

To be fair, though, many of wife's reasons for not doing the deed were valid. Being "sweaty and gross," "exhausted," or "too drunk" doesn't exactly boost one's mood. "I ate too much" is a legitimate reason to avoid movement altogether—let alone in-the-sheets gymnastics.

The wife did reject her man's advances to watch a Friends re-run (pivot!), and a handful of times she gave "non-verbal" excuses for not wanting to get it on. On three celebratory occasions, though, she said "yes," which hubby excitedly noted in italics in the "Sex?" column.

The spreadsheet has since been deleted (womp, womp) and according to OP (that's original poster, for those of you not up on your reddit terminology), hubby has cut contact now that his lovemaking spreadsheet has gone public.

Woof. Hopefully these two can work things out...and have some steamy makeup sex to boot!

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