File this commercial under: Nope.

DirecTV recently (as in like a month ago, but whatever) came out with some clever commercials…is "clever" the right word to use here? The premise is certainly clever, as they are touting how their service allows for all the cable box features without all those "ugly wires" that stick out everywhere. And it turns out the dude in the ads is married to a marionette puppet who takes offense to his views on wires, and we would continuing summarizing but the image of the puppet wife wriggling around has seared itself into our brain like tuna steaks and we cannot think straight anymore.

Oh, and the story doesn't stop there. Because why should there be only one commercial floating around giving you nightmares? There's also a follow-up where the puppet wife tries to seduce her husband:

We don't like that.

And there's also a puppet son, as it turns out. So the human and the wife puppet have procreated and they gave birth to a puppet child:

We also don't like that.

Real question: is this better or worse than that horrifying Old Spice commercial about the moms spying on their sons?

Either way…stop it, companies.

DirecTV Puppet GIF


Old Spice Commercial GIF


Stop with the creepy commercials!


Everyone who wants to sleep at night

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