A day without Anna Nicole Smith paternity issues is starting to feel like a day without sunshine.
Frederic von Anhalt, the eighth husband of socialite and actress Zsa Zsa Gabor, filed court papers in Santa Monica, California, Thursday requesting a DNA test to determine whether he's the father of Smith's five-month-old daughter, Dannielynn.
Calling the former Playboy Playmate's commitment to Howard K. Stern "a joke" during a press conference outside the courthouse, the 59-year-old von Anhalt maintained that he was having a sexual relationship with Smith in January 2006 and therefore could easily be Dannielynn's daddy.
"Why doesn't [Stern] take a DNA test and say, 'Look, everything is in my favor, it's over,' " von Anhalt said. "Why doesn't he do it? He only knows why he doesn't do it."
True enough. Stern, who is listed as Dannielynn's father on her birth certificate, is currently caring for the infant in the Bahamas and will most likely continue to do so until this increasingly tangled paternity web is sorted out. A Bahamian judge issued an injunction Tuesday preventing the baby, who was appointed her own attorney by a Florida judge to represent her best interests, from being taken out of the country until the custody battle is resolved.
And now there are that many more court documents to go through until that point is reached.
In his petition, von Anhalt has asked for physical and legal custody of Dannielynn if it turns out that he's her father, admitting that, yes, his 90-year-old wife was "mad" when she learned of his decade-long affair with Smith, but that the two of them will care for the child if need be.
(Gabor, who, like Smith, was known in her heyday largely for her platinum blonde beauty, has reportedly been in poor health since suffering a stroke in 2005.)
"I am not sure," von Anhalt continued, becoming the first high-profile paternity player to actually admit in public that there's a shred of doubt in his mind about his papa potential. "It could be me, it could be another three, could be another 10. When I have an affair with somebody, I don't ask, 'What did you do yesterday?' "
The German-born, self-proclaimed "prince" said that he last talked to Smith seven weeks before her death, but that they didn't discuss Dannielynn.
"There was no need to talk about it," he said. "It was an affair. We didn't talk about it." He then added that he didn't really love Smith, nor does he miss her much.
"What is love? You always talk about love. Love has to grow. I don't miss very much she's gone. That's all, she's not here any more...she was a childish woman and men loved her."
What a prince.
Von Anhalt also said that he will likely consolidate his case with that of Baby-Daddy Alternate Number 2, Larry Birkhead, who filed his own paternity suit last October, just weeks after the child's birth. He and the rest of the world were less than two weeks away from (possibly, maybe, hopefully) learning the truth when Smith died suddenly on Feb. 8.
No word yet from Birkhead's camp whether he's interested in getting his DNA requests crossed with von Anhalt's.
What Birkhead lawyer Debra Opri did have to say was this: "I believe this is a time for the attorneys to work. I believe this is not a time for photo ops. After the courts issue their rulings, there will be plenty of time to discuss the issues.
"For now, please pray for Dannielynn, as we are in the fight of our lives."
Smith's estranged mother, Virgie Arthur, has also emerged to request that she be named guardian of Dannielynn because she fears Stern might leave the Bahamas with her granddaughter in tow, Arthur's attorney said after a hearing Thursday morning in Florida's Broward County Circuit Court.
Over objections from Arthur's and Stern's attorneys, Circuit Judge Larry Seidlin ordered that another DNA sample be taken from Smith's body during the day's lunch recess. Another brief hearing is scheduled for Friday regarding the matter of embalming Smith and an evidentiary custody hearing is set for Tuesday, during which Stern is expected to testify by telephone.
Also earlier Thursday, Royal Bahamian Police searched the waterfront home where Smith and Stern had been living and where the attorney is still residing with Dannielynn, after Stern reported a burglary over the weekend in which thieves allegedly made off with a computer and other personal items.
Shortly after the break-in, new photos began circulating, including one that supposedly showed the inside of Smith's refrigerator, stocked with methadone and other drugs. Stern's attorneys have said that the fridge picture was staged.
Smith's attorney in the Bahamas, Wayne Munroe, said that he had arranged to have witnesses at the residence to speak with investigators (Stern was also there while the police searched) and that officers took computer hard drives and other items from the premises for evidence.
While the autopsy performed on Smith's body has so far produced no definitive answers as to the cause of death, the question of whether she had been using drugs at the time is still front and center. (Police said that they found prescription medications, but no illegal drugs, in the Hollywood, Florida, hotel room where Smith collapsed last week.)
The Medical Board of California said Thursday that it is looking into whether a California doctor prescribed methadone to Smith while she was using an alias. Spokeswoman Candis Cohen refused to give further details but confirmed that the investigation is related to Smith.
The doc at the center of the investigation, Dr. Sandeep Kapoor, told People this week that, although the TrimSpa peddler obviously "had substance abuse issues," she took no dangerous prescription drugs during her pregnancy.
TMZ reported earlier this week, however, that Kapoor, described as Smith's "personal physician" in the People article, wrote a methadone prescription for a "Michelle Chase," an alias Smith had used in the past, on Aug. 25, 2006, a little more than two weeks before Dannielynn was born.
Meanwhile, Stern, Smith's longtime attorney and confidante who publicly announced his love for her shortly after Dannielynn's birth, has his own theories as to what happened.
"Howard thinks she just finally gave up the will to live," Stern's sister Bonnie told People. "Her body just couldn't take it anymore. The heartbreak of Daniel's death was devastating. She was having nightmares about Daniel."
E! Online Photo Gallery: Anna Nicole's Life in Pictures