Disney princesses (who we ranked earlier this week) would be nothing without the villains who torture them, tease them and occasionally attempt to kill them. Without a Maleficent, Princess Aurora would just be a boring rich lady with good hair.
So it's only fair that we rank all the major Disney/Pixar villains (the villains merchandized as "official" villains—no supporting villains, and no sequel baddies because no one cares). Now, from worst to best:
33. Big Bad Wolf, Three Little Pigs
Honestly, he's so stupid, why would anyone ever be scared of him?
32. Amos Slade, The Fox and the Hound
Old men can be scary in their own way, but Amos had a weak spot for his dogs so we all know he's really a big ol' softie.
31. Bill Sykes, Oliver and Company
A loan shark with a gun? Be more original, Bill!
30. Edgar Balthazar, The Aristocats
He's bad at being a villain and he should feel bad.
29. Madame Medusa, The Rescuers
Girl, let's talk about your hair.
28. Governor Ratcliffe, Pocahontas
Wonderful fashion sense, terrible at everything else.
27. Professor Ratigan, The Great Mouse Detective
26. Prince John, Robin Hood
Looks ravishing in blue. Also, he sucks his thumb.
25. Mother Gothel, Tangled
Sure, she's a crazy bitch (she STOLE a BABY), but for most of the movie she's just a manipulative mom. She's overprotective; she wants to look younger and act cooler than her kid, typical mom stuff. Sure, she stabs Flynn at the end of the movie, but one almost-homicide does not an iconic Disney villain make.
24. Stomboli, Pinocchio
One spot more villainous than Mother Gothel, because the cage he locks Pinocchio in is much, much smaller than a tower.
23. Shan Yu, Mulan
His bark is worse than his bite. And of course he looks scary with eyebrows like that.
22. Peg Leg Pete, Mickey & Co.
You're more silly than purely mean. But you're an iconic character, so you got bumped up the list a bit.
21. Percival C. McLeach, The Rescuers Down Under
Probably the best name, but definitely not the best villain.
20. Chernabog, Fantasia
Actually terrifying. Who decided to put that in a kids movie?!
19. Doctor Facilier, The Princess and the Frog
We find it's best not to mess with anyone who practices voodoo. See: American Horror Story: Coven.
18. Shere Khan, The Jungle Book
17. Kaa, The Jungle Book
You should know by now how we feel about snakes.
16. Madam Mim, The Sword in the Stone
Look at those crazy eyes and tell us she's not insane. Just try it.
15. Si and Am, Lady and the Tramp
"We are Si-a-mese if you please, we are Si-a-mese if you don't please..." still haunts our nightmares.
14. Hopper, A Bug's Life
You would not like Hopper when he's mad (spoiler alert: He yells at you, but like, really, really meanly). Also, he flies, and villains who fly are automatically scarier than villains who don't fly.
13. Lady Tremaine, Cinderella
The original Mommy Dearest (NO. MORE. GLASSSSSS. SLIPPPPPERS.), Lady Tremaine took bad parenting to a whole new level. Sorry your daughters were fug, Tremaine, and Cinderella is a total smokeshow, but crown-blocking her is not cool.
12. Jafar, Aladdin
Jafar was evil and he had pizzazz. He had flair. He had theatrics! But his facial hair situation was no bueno.
11. Claude Frollo, The Hunchback of Notre Dame
He was angry and evil because Esmeralda made him think impure thoughts. We don't have enough Internet space to talk about how off his situation was.
11. Izma, The Emperor's New Groove
Izma was the best. She was smart enough to create potions, evil enough to get rid of Kuzco and she was so, so sassy.
10. The Queen of Hearts, Alice in Wonderland
Off with their heads?! Nope. Don't mess with this one.
9. Captain Hook, Peter Pan
He's one of the most iconic villains of all time in any genre. How could we not put him in the top ten?
8. Sid Phillips, Toy Story
As far as villains go, Sid Phillips is fairly easily defeated. But this kid has the makings of a straight up SOCIOPATH. Nails through the heads of army men? That robot spider baby thing? He tried to BBQ Woody! This kid is going to grow up to be a real-life serial killer! (Bonus: We know we said sequels don't matter, but we're giving an honorable mention to Toy Story 3's Lotso. That's one coldhearted teddy bear.)
7. Queen Grimhilde, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
The original H.B.I.C.
6. Gaston, Beauty and the Beast
He scaled the roof of a castle to take down the Beast. He was arrogant and definitely stupid, but homeboy had conviction. He also sang what is easily one of our favorite villainous tunes: "Gaston."
5. Scar, The Lion King
When you're voiced by Jeremy Irons, there's not many more evil Disney characters that can top you. And he plotted one of the most painful deaths in Disney history, so you know he'll never be forgotten. Or forgiven. No wonder they called you Scar, as you left us with mental and emotional ones that still sting to this day.
4. Maleficent, Sleeping Beauty
So cool, they made a movie revolving around her. And they cast Angelina Jolie, who is one of the biggest badasses in Hollywood.
3. Hades, Hercules
His evil plan involved killing a baby, people. But he made killing a baby like, fun! He was funny!
2. Cruella de Vil, One Hundred and One Dalmatians
It hurts to be beautiful...though, in this case the ones hurting are all the little Dalmatian doggies she wants to skin to make a fur coat that PETA would certainly not approve of. She's kind of like Miranda from The Devil Wears Prada, but more like The Devil Wears Puppy.
1. Ursula the Sea Witch, The Little Mermaid
The baddest bitch in town. Ursula was more fabulous than Cruella. More evil than all of the evil Queens combined. Ursula never kept it a secret: She's nasty. And she had curves for days (never underestimate the importance of body language).
There will never be a Disney villain more wickedly wonderful than she, my dear.