We Taste Tested Doritos New Mystery Flavors—Here Are Our Completely Uncensored Opinions of Each

The PepsiCo product is currently conducting a Bold Flavor Experiment and asking fans to vote

By John Boone Apr 29, 2014 8:36 PMTags
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Doritos is currently conducting a "Bold Flavor Experiment," where fans are asked to try three mystery flavors and vote on their favorite. The incentive? The flavor with the most votes will "ultimately [be] brought back to store shelves this fall." Oh, and daily giveaways of $1,000 in gold

Doritos and Co. were kind enough to send some bags over to the E! News offices and we conducted a little taste test of our own, because science. H20 and Laffy Taffy-flavored jelly beans were used as palate cleansers and, in the end, one overwhelmed employee declared, "This is harder than tasting wine."

We asked everyone to take a stab at guessing the mystery flavor, or give us general feedback on what they thought of the chips. Here are their unfiltered, uncensored opinions:

Test Flavor 855: Aka The red bag. Almost unanimously voted as the best of the three flavors.

People said:

"Srichia Hot"
"Spicy Cool Ranch"
"Kind of tastes like hot sauce..."
"Sriracha"
"Sriacha/Southwestern"
"Hell yes! Perfectly spicy! No. 1"
"Cheesy salsa flavor. The best of three bad options. Bobby Flay would roll his eyes."
"Tabasco"
"Tobasco"
"Jalapeño cheddar"
"Tabasco? And cheddar? Tastes the best!!"
"Tangy & chili flavored, some lime, moderately spicy"
"Chili cheese. I like it! Spicy in a good way."
"Siracha"
"Chile cheese"
"Chili"
"Southwestern kick"
"Siracha! Da bomb (my favorite)"
"Like a regular boring-ass Dorito"
"Taste like flaming hot Cheetos" 

Flavor Verdict: Doritos: However You Spell Sriracha!

Test Flavor 404: Aka The orange bag. Almost everyone who tasted it thought it was "lime-y."

People said:

"Honey Lime"
"Lime"
"Lime + cilantro"
"Nope! With citrus flavor"
"Gross"
"Super-familiar, but can't place the flavor. Chipotle & barbeque mixed. Ginger. Warm spice."
"Like an old Taco Bell sauce packet I found in my car's glove box."
"Zesty Lime"
"These taste like there is a hint of lime in here—I'm a fan. Please send another bag."
"Salsa? Meh."
"I can't remember what it tasted like, but I know I never want to taste it again."
"Chili lime. OK."
"Something citrusy! Sweet at the end"
"Limey. Is it Asian or Mexican? Too sweet."
"Chili lime"
"Too sweet"
"Lime Jalapeno"
"Lime"
"Lemongrass/thai, brown sugar. Don't like it."
"Citrus flavor, not good."

Flavor Verdict: Doritos: Is That Lemongrass?

Test Flavor 2653: Aka the blue bag. This was the hardest flavor to guess (and also the worst).

People said:

"Spicy Smokey Chili"
"Smokey chipotle lime taste. Not great. Smells rotten."
"Sweet-ish, Memphis-style BBQ"
"Smoky"
"Smoky, mildly spicy, dull chipotle flavor. Most bland of the three."
"Chocolate chili a--hole"
"Honey BBQ. Tastes like a sweet campfire"
"Honey BBQ. YUM! Spicy, kinda like sweet potato"
"Sweet chili"
"Rubber tire"
"Peanut butter chili/total confusion"
"Yuck, chemical taste"
"Eh, these are confusing. No thank you, I'll pass."
"Weird cheesy"
"Southwestern Spice"
"BBQ"
"Tastes like the sweet chili ones but with half the flavoring
"BBQ-y. BBQ chicken?"
"Chocolate, chili, mole? Don't like it."

Flavor Verdict: Doritos: Don't-ritos.

We hope this very informative culinary exploration was as good for you as it was for us.

And, before you ask, no, we don't know the real flavors. Doritos will reveal them soon.