Adapt…or die.
That seems to be Hollywood's new motto, because every toy you ever played with, every candy you ever enjoyed, and anything you have ever loved is getting adapted to the big screen. And we thought the reboot/remake trend was bad!
So pop quiz, hotshot. We've come up with a list of fake movie adaptations and stuck them with real projects. Can you tell the difference? Read the list below and see if you can spot the phonies:
1. Mall Madness: A horror-comedy film that will feature a group of kids trapped in the mall after closing time, and they must use their wits and wallets to escape.
2. Peeps: This full-length animated movie will be all about one wayward Peep getting lost the night before a big Peeps diorama contest and his journey through the other diorama lands to find his way back before judging begins.
3. Barbie: A live-action comedy based on the plastic plaything and it's rumored to revolve around her many different careers.
4. Tetris: From the makers of the Battleship film comes an unforgettable space adventure filled with shape-shifting robot armies, a species on the verge of extinction and the quest for the one thing that will solve everything: The Long Piece.
5. Mario-Kart: Nintendo has announced plans to produce a trilogy based on the popular Mario-Kart series. Think Fast & Furious meets Wreck-It Ralph.
6. Candy Land: Adam Sandler's company is set to produce a film based on this popular board game that will reportedly unfold in a Lord of the Rings-style fantasy adventure.
7. Hungry Hungry Hippos: Little is known about this game adaptation, except that the plan is to make it an animated adventure geared toward children.
8. Cap'n Crunch: Who was he before he became the captain? Disney and Tim Burton are rumored to be developing a swashbuckling adventure about the origins of this beloved cereal mascot.
9. Chutes and Ladders: From the people who brought you Jumanji, this adaptation will bring the board game to life after children are magically transported into a real-life version of the game. But the game is much more dangerous when you are the game piece!
10. Stretch Armstrong: Currently stuck in development limbo, this movie based on the stretchy action figure was supposed to star Twilight hunk Taylor Lautner.
11. Tower of Terror: The free-falling ride based on The Twilight Zone will get the big screen treatment in the form of a horror remake that will borrow some scares from movies like The Shining and Hellraiser.
12. Olaf: After the huge success of Frozen, Disney is currently writing a film that will make the lovable snowman sidekick the star. It will take place one year after the end of Frozen, and it will give Olaf a very unique love interest: a sandcastle.
13. Monopoly: Production is scheduled to begin this summer on Ridley Scott's version of the iconic board game, which will revolve around a Donald Trump-esque character.
14. Grumpy Cat: The most unimpressed creature in the world will soon get the power of voice in the upcoming Garfield-like film.
15. Ouija Board: Thought Paranormal Activity was scary? Just wait until you see what the makers behind that franchise do with quite possibly the creepiest toy ever.
Ready for the results? Scroll past the random GIFs to find the answer key…
1. Mall Madness: Fake
2. Peeps: Real
3. Barbie: Real
4. Tetris: Fake
5. Mario-Kart: Fake
6. Candy Land: Real
7. Hungry Hungry Hippos: Real
8. Cap'n Crunch: Fake
9. Chutes and Ladders: Fake
10. Stretch Armstrong: Real
11. Tower of Terror: Fake
12. Olaf: Fake
13. Monopoly: Real
14. Grumpy Cat: Real
15. Ouija Board: Real
Any movie that is "real" is either rumored to be happening, confirmed to be happening and/or already in development. Sad, but true. Then again, we all thought The Lego Movie was going to be ridiculous, and it totally was. Ridiculously awesome!
The funny thing is that we had tons of fake ideas, but after some Googling, we realized they already were getting a movie adaptation, so it was a lot harder to come up with fake movies than we thought it would be. Other fake ideas that were squashed because they actually are happening or were supposed to happen: Disney's Jungle Cruise ride, the Jolly Green Giant and the board game Risk.
Damn, Africa Hollywood…what happened?
But seriously, if a film exec is reading this and wants to talk about the Tetris movie, call us.